Hi beautiful,

When I think of "letting it go", I want to think that it's graceful. I want to imagine the "it" dancing off my hand like a baby oak leaf taking flight from the palm of my hand and floating, while simultaneously soaring, into a babbling brook...

Yeah that's not what actually happens though. 

For me, the "I'm letting go" thuds a harsh splash like a robust, awkward, too-big-to-throw-far, rock which echos "I'M LETTING IT GOOOoooo!!!!!"

Well, at least that's what "letting go" this full moon weekend has felt like for me.

I took a little personal retreat on Friday and Saturday. No fancy spas or beaches or wine or sexy naked men with olive branches... just me, nourishing and nurturing myself with no phone calls, yoga, a shiatsu massage, buying wild Berlin flowers in the farmer's market, walking, listening to music, simple nutritious homemade food and a long bath.

I'm reminded of the responsibility that follows letting go.

So, now, there's a new space. A new place where I can build and grow something new. That's the gift of letting go, BUT on the flipside of this lovely benefit, is that I'm not sure how I want this new space to be. 

Strong foundation... well that's a good place to start.

A strong foundation requires new habits, new behaviours.

And that's where I get uncomfortable again. It's where that "letting go" feels heavy and burdensome.

I've been engaging in this process of "letting go" for a few years now BUT still, most times, I've to let go of a habit, behaviour, relationship, project, country, possession, it kinda sucks.

I think thoughts like...

"I was just getting comfortable. I was kinda really liking that thing that deep down I know is probably absolutely not the best thing/habit for me."

In my defence, I have learned that I can attribute some of the resistance to my amygdala.

The amygdala is part of the reptilian brain. In human evolutionary terms, it's part of the oldest brain system, the limbic system. The amygdala is known to be rigid and compulsive and responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory.

So when you're letting go, you're basically battling your amygdala. Your amygdala wants to protect you (and has done a pretty masterful job with its survival instinct, considering we are still here as a species; 10 points for the amydala in evolutionary terms!) So the amydala will tag these trying times (when you choose to "let go") as threatening, even it can feel life-threatening, because the amygdala wants you to remember the pain and will magnify it to ensure your survival.

Thanks to more modern part of our brain, the neo-cortex which governs the higher functions such as sensory perception, generation of motor commands, spatial reasoning, conscious thought and language, plus bringing a practice of conscious reflection and conscious self awareness, we can bring understanding to this "perceived threat". 

When we bring understanding and objectivity, we can allow ourselves to grieve the threat, make peace with the threat and let it go.

So "building this new space" becomes the TRUST in the unknown. 

Feeling the fear of the new behaviours, feeling the fear of the unkown-to-me, new-to-me path and starting to walk it, step by step.

What I've learned to be true, through my own personal evidence in a myriad of situations, that when I proceed in the direction of my fear (and boy do I resist and sabotage and resist and sabotage on my best of days!) that the reward, the benefits, the gifts, the miracles, the synchronicities far exceed my wildest wishes.

The enjoyment and growth of new experiences that follow a new strong foundation, far exceed the pain of the process of letting go, this I know for sure.

• You have to dare to choose a different habit to create a different result. 

• Be bold and courageously good-to-yourself enough to commit to this new habit, day by day.

Here's 3 mantras I got from an amazing yoga teacher today, which I thought synchronistically, offered the exact medicine this full moon weekend requires...

I have good digestion for the challenges of life. 

I give my best and I let the best be given to me.