1. SAY LESS, LISTEN MORE
To quench the relentless pouring of questions ~ you can always deflect. Keep the big mouth talking about themselves. Just keep turning the questions back at them. They'll revel in the glorious attention, overruling the fact that they have no new scoop on you, yet when you cross their mind, they'll be filled with good thoughts... remember, people will forget your name and forget what you said, but they never forget how you make them feel.
2. OPTIC LIBERATION
When you start spiralling into thinking of how sitting in family situations makes you feel uncomfortable and awkward in their company... what if you were completely liberated of these feelings? See yourself sitting in the situation where you feel comfort, ease, your back is straight and you're laughing. Imagine the new scenario, visualise it, feel it... see what unfolds.
3. GAME TIME WITH YOU FOR YOU
Make a decision to not entertain your own unhappy and heavy thoughts that most likely originate from the past. Let's say you know your dad is going to push your buttons. Play a game with yourself, where you take each interaction as a challenge - you get +2 points for doing something new/different, you get -3 for every time you repeat a brash/defensive/mean/snappy old interaction from the past.
All you have to do, is do something different. Game on.
4. PEACE MANTRA
When I find myself getting caught up in annoyance, irritation, anger ~ I pull my emergency exit handle. I repeat my peace mantra
"Light, release my illusions to love."
Before I know it, with very little physical effort on my part, the situation has dissipated or redirected and I'm having an easy conversation or I'm smiling.
You can input "God" "Love" "Universe" "Jesus" - " ______, release my illusions to love"
5. THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Fortunately, this most wonderful time of the year only happens annually. Whatever the engagement may be, from a couple of hours to a few days, know that there is an expiration date, and soon you will get to return to your own personal schedule.
6. NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE
It's ok to say “No”. You've got to take care of number 1 (you) ahead of everyone and everything else. If you don't want to attend the dinner, if you don't want to connect with someone from your past, if you don't want to eat the food on the menu, then stand your ground and be ok with saying “No.” It doesn't mean you’re being anti-social or self destructive, saying “No” is most uncomfortable when you’re asserting new boundaries. Be responsible with your emotions and your choices.
8. SNIFF THE WHIFF
In the case of your party season survival kit, you could bring a scent you love which smells refreshing and uplifting to you... perhaps try lemon or eucalyptus or cedarwood or lavender ...and before the event or anytime during it, dab a couple drops of the essential oil on your wrist, hold your wrists up to nose and take at least 3 long SLOW inhales and exhales.
9. INCREASE SNOOZE TIME, decrease booze time.
Increasing the number of hours you sleep and decreasing your intake of sugar and alcohol are the pillars of stress management, which of course you know, but at this time of year, these deserve an extra-special shout out. Operating on little to no sleep will cause higher sensitivities to people (especially family) and their reactions. Two major inhibitors to deep sleep, taken together, separately and especially before bed, are alcohol and sugar. What if you decided to gift yourself an hour in bed every evening just to snuggle up with yourself? It's the simplest stuff that makes the biggest difference. Snuggle up.
