Let's dive in a little deeper:
I CAN'T >>> I WON'T.
"I can't" implies you have no control of your life.
When you use this word, you are basically saying that you a slave to everything or person around you - who you let control your every move.
For example if you say "I can't come to dinner tonight. I have to prepare for work tomorrow."
While this may be true, the manner in which you are placing the words and therefore the gravitas and meaning you are giving the words is disempowering and weakening for you.
Here's how you could say it "IN MY POWER":
"I would love to come to dinner but I have a meeting tomorrow that's important to me (no need to say something like you're underprepared or stressed - keep it positive and empowered). I'll feel better walking in totally prepared - so I'll pass on tonight. Thank you for inviting me."
Can you feel the difference of these two statements?
Can you feel the truth, integrity and empowered energy that you are commanding into the universe?
This is the powerful energy that you will magnetically attract back to you.
I SHOULD >>> I COULD.
I would recommend removing "should" from your vocab entirely. In my perspective "should" is the worst curse word of all!!
"I should" basically says that you have no choice and no deciding power in your life.
"I should go for dinner." vs
"I could go for dinner. I can for dinner. I would like to go for dinner."
"I should call her."
"I could call her. I can call her when ____. I would like to call her when."
Can you feel the decisive power and decisive actions that can follow when you use the "IN MY POWER" statements. It immediately puts you in the driver seat of your power.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT >>> I'M FULLY RESPONSIBLE.
"It's not my fault." vs
"I am responsible for every single thought and feeling that I have."
It's always better to take responsibility for your experiences rather than be a victim to the circumstances - no matter how hard and how painful it is to accept the responsibility - as soon as you do - you become empowered. Every thought after that can be "I could, I can, I would like to, I would not like to..." building your power and momentum of empowerment.
Sometimes it can be very challenging to accept responsibility when you've been accustomed to blaming others, so in this instance, you can begin with questioning the possibility of responsibility:
"Ok.. if I would take responsibility for this, what could that look like?
What could I learn, improve, develop, change? What do I need to put these in place? Can I take it slow? Can I get support? What could make this easier?"
Then you can get, develop the power in your own time:
"I know this is possible. I'm just not ready yet.
"I know this is possible and I can ask for support to do it differently.
"I am responsible for this experience and I'm enjoying doing it differently."
Watch how POWERFUL you become!!
IT'S A PROBLEM >>> IT'S AN OPPORTUNITY.
It's a problem. It's a block.
No, no - it's an opportunity. It's a door. It's a portal.
I know I drive some of the people that I love crazy with this one because I really do see life as a series of opportunities.
And look, sometimes life is extraordinarily shit - and it's ok to feel down about it - for a bit, and then, sooner or later, the only way out is to seek the opportunity.
Life has taught me that as soon as I surrender to the present moment, there is an opportunity. I am in the situation for a reason and while it might not be what I thought I wanted - it's going to be exactly what I need to get me what I want.
The more you practice this with the small stuff, the easier it will be to recover in the super shit moments and then, to consistently moment-to-moment adjust your sails towards opportunity as you go.
May I remind you at this point that
= you never get it done.
It's never the end, it's all one big huge journey and you're doing an AWESOME job.
I HOPE >>> I KNOW
Well to me, "I hope" feels like what my grandad would call a slippery handshake.
Where's the conviction? Where's the opportunity? Where's the faith?
Hope is so wishy-washy.
I want FAITH or I want to KNOW or I want to FEEL or I want to INTEND.
Hope is basically a waiting room for worry.
Instead, own the moment. Declare truth.
NEXT TIME >>> IF ONLY
If only...
Please stop filling your todays with yesterdays.
From this moment forward, decide that you're going to
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
& DO WHAT YOU SAY.
And that, when you don't, you're going to give it your best the next time,
and the next time, and the next time.
If you do wish you did something different, then an hour to say or write out all the "If only..." things you wish ya cudda wudda done, and then, decide which is worth doing next time. Say you're going to do it, and do it.
Then, thank yourself, bless yourself, congratulate for doing what you did,
exactly as you did it, because you were doing your very best at the time, with what you had, what you knew, the people, the patterns, the practices that were in your life. Make peace with yourself. Decide that from this moment what and how you want to do it from now on.
And above all else, if all you take from this email today,
do your every best every day to
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN
& DO WHAT YOU SAY.
Life actually gets so much sweeter, so much more expansive and powerful when you show up for yourself by using "IN MY POWER" vocabulary.
HOMEWORK: Save the "IN MY POWER" vocab image to your phone welcome screen or to your photos or email to yourself, print it out and put it in your kitchen and on your desk. Refer to it, use it. Practice.
