I know I have.

In fact, I just had a Homer Simpsons moment yesterday…

I sent you an email yesterday that was supposed to have a “button” to click on to get some really valuable info to you and I forgot to attach the link!!! 

D’OH!

By the time I realized what I had done…   It was too late! 

The mistake had been made. (yes, my Homer Simpson moment)

Then that little voice (that we all have) in the back of my head chimed in for me…

“What is wrong with you?”

“I thought you were smarter than that.  I guess not!” 

“What will these people think when they go to click on the “button” and nothing happens?”

Do you have that little voice in your head that says similar things?

Maybe it’s not a “little voice”…

Maybe it’s a BIG VOICE that is screaming into a megaphone letting you know you are not “Perfect”.

You gotta love that kind of self talk (NOT)!!!

Maybe you think or use negative self talk to describe yourself…

…Such as saying you are: flawed, unfit, lousy, sketchy, a dud, a failure, an idiot, not good enough, not up to snuff, not deserving of success, not worthy, etc.

So… 

Since I messed up yesterdays email, it got me thinking…

What is “Perfectionism” and what are some of the negative things it can cause?

Maybe we will even talk about some ways to change your perspective about being ok with being “Imperfect”.

Why do so many people strive to be “Perfect”?

Many studies have been done on what a Perfectionist is and why people attempt to be one…

Here is the funny thing…

Perfectionists aren’t actually trying to be perfect… 

Say what???  That doesn’t make any sense.

They are avoiding “not being good enough”!  They are driven by the avoidance of fear!

This avoidance dictates much of their behavior and mindset, and it’s actually been linked to depression, anxiety, eating disorders and under extreme circumstances, even suicide.

Nobody wants any of those things in their life…

OK…  It’s time to be brutally honest with yourself.  See if any of these ring true for you.

Here are some signs that your pursuit of “Perfection” may put you at risk:

1. Despite your search for perfection, you never feel perfect.

    - Even if you do exceptional well at something, you just never feel it is enough or you could have done it better

2. You cannot accept and celebrate your success.

    - It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated, even angry. 

    - Perfectionists don't acknowledge their wins to the extent of feeling the joy and satisfaction of a job well done.

3. You don't allow yourself any mistakes.

    - While an individual with a healthy mindset allows for mistakes, an extreme perfectionist doesn't forgive their mistakes. 

4. You put up a front, insisting everything is perfect.

    - Even when your world is a disaster zone, you put up a front to lead others to think it's all just perfect.

    - Perfectionists are intensely afraid of being judged by others. They often want the outside world to view them, not only as being perfect, but making perfection easy. 

5. You avoid taking on challenges that may cause you to fail.

    - If you're presented with an opportunity that means you'll have to develop more skills or move outside of your comfort zone, you're likely to turn it down.

    - You're afraid that you're not smart enough to tackle a new learning curve and will be seen as a failure or let someone down.

6. You believe that your likeability is linked to being perfect.

    - You don't allow others to see your flaws and most likely you talk about your achievements, but never your failures.

7. Your life doesn't satisfy you.

    - Perfectionists cope well in a low-stress environment, so as long as nothing challenges you you're fine.

    - When problems occur or work and home seem unsettled to you, it presents a problem.

    - Anxiety often increases, which offers the illusion that nothing is going well, thereby decreasing life satisfaction.

8. You struggle with getting things done on time.

    - Since perfection is an illusion, the pursuit of it is never complete--and neither are your projects.

   - You may get things done, but you are in a constant battle with the decisions and motivation to complete certain things.

    - The "what ifs" and expectation of a negative consequence or result preoccupies you and the pressure can be overwhelming.

Wow…  That’s a lot to take in!

Now the question is…

Can you overcome the seemingly never-ending pursuit of perfection?

I believe there's nothing we can't overcome if we put our minds to it.

If you occasionally insist on perfection, but it causes you excess stress, pay attention to these situations and what is triggering those thoughts and feelings.

I suggest journaling about them to find the common link.

The awareness alone will help you get to the core and figure out what it's really all about.

Observe how others accept themselves, flaws and all, and assign yourself a few virtual mentors to follow.

Learning how successful people built upon their failures, instead of hiding from them, will help get things into perspective.

Yes, you can develop a healthy mindset and make life much easier and more rewarding for yourself.

Remember, each failure or mistake is merely a learning opportunity that we can use to help us reach success in life.

No one and I mean NO ONE is perfect!

Why would you want to learn to embrace not being perfect?  Here is an example…

The youngest self-made woman billionaire and founder of Spanx, Sara Blakely, was asked what was the best advice she ever received.

She doesn’t talk about success…

Instead, she talks about how, as a child, her father would sit her down at the dining room table and ask her the same question:

"What did you fail at this week?"

He didn't want to know how many “A’s” she'd gotten.

He wasn't interested in how many girl scout cookies she'd sold, how many goals she'd scored on her soccer team, or whether she'd gotten a perfect score on her math test.

No, he wanted to know what she had failed at.

And when she told him about what she had failed at, do you know what his reaction was?

He high-fived her.

Think about that for a minute…

Every week growing up, her father made her reflect on something she'd failed at, then showed her that not only was she still loved after failing, but she was celebrated for it.

In an interview for Fortune, Blakely said, "I didn't realize at the time how much this advice would define not only my future, but my definition of failure.

I have realized as an entrepreneur that so many people don't pursue their idea because they were scared or afraid of what could happen.

My dad taught me that failing simply just leads you to the next great thing."

Those who've made it big repeat that one of the main reasons they got to where they are is by taking risks.

Over and over, they talk about the importance of taking leaps, which sometimes means falling down:

·         "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." --Robert F. Kennedy

·         "Failure is another steppingstone to greatness." –Oprah

·         "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison

I wish you well on your journey to embrace failures to know that each failure is bringing you closer to your success.

- Duane Eberhard

PS – Here is the button I promised you yesterday.  Check it out!!!  I put the link in, so it works!!!