Friend,

In our household no one likes to do chores and every single one of us feels like we’re already being asked to do more than is fair to ask of any human being. 

So whenever circumstances change, like someone is working more hours, someone is taking tests, someone started college – we all use this as an opportunity to try to pawn off chores on somebody else. 

Lately, the boys had been dropping the ball on a number of chores, acting like they just had too much homework to do. 

It cut into our family time

When your child lets you know they are too busy to do their chores, it becomes impossible to plan family outings. Family time, which I enjoy very much, was reduced to almost nothing. The only time I got to share with them was during dinner or while acting as a chauffeur for them. 

But the boys made one critical mistake. At the same time as they pretended to be overworked and in need of help with chores, they increased their social events. And they seemed to think I wouldn’t notice. 

You just can’t spend four hours with the girlfriend one day and claim you don’t have time to mop the cat room. 

You can’t ask to be taken to the skate park three times a week and claim you don’t have time to do laundry. 

It's not like I didn't teach them

I have developed methods to make chores happier, including a signature process to teach children and teens to keep their rooms tidy, so it’s not like they don’t have the tools to get things done quickly and painlessly.

And then there was my husband, dropping the ball on some of his chores too, allowing spaces he’s in control of to get cluttered. There he was, noticing things went undone and instead of helping me enforce the house rules, looking for what else from his chores he could ask the boys to do. There he was, letting me become a nag. 

So I went on strike. I told my family that for one week I wouldn’t be cooking for them or serving them food. 

If you ever had the chance to enjoy my cooking, you’ll understand how much of a shock this was for the fam. 

A strike with demands, just like any other strike

I announced my strike during a family meeting and I listed the conditions that had to be met for me to end my strike. I wrote them down on our family blackboard. Click here to see a picture of our family blackboard and my demands.

I didn’t abandon them that week. I stayed close to the kitchen to give them ideas on what meals they might prepare. I have previously taught them to cook., and I knew they wouldn't starve. When I went in to cook something for myself, I made a tiny bit extra for them. 

I had to force myself not to capitulate. I had to keep reminding myself that, while doing things for them makes me a good mom, teaching them the skills they’ll need so they can keep a home of their own one day makes me an even better mom! 

Click here to see how my strike ended and whether I got all my demands met.