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It Started with a Sneeze
Doug Jensen lived in the town of Mapleville, population: mostly squirrels. He was the kind of guy who wore sandals with socks and had never once gotten a weather forecast right. Not once. He carried an umbrella on sunny days and wore shorts during hailstorms.
One rainy Tuesday, Doug sneezed on live TV.
Not on purpose. He had called into the morning news to complain about the weather forecast being “suspiciously dry,” and during his rant, let out an enormous, echoing sneeze that cut off the feed.
Weirdly, five minutes later—it started to rain.
Local Legend Is Born
The sneeze clip went viral. People started joking that Doug’s immune system could predict the weather better than the station’s actual meteorologist, Rick Storm.
Doug, amused, posted a video of himself saying, “If I sneeze twice, it’s a thunderstorm.”
Two days later, he sneezed twice on TikTok. That afternoon, lightning struck a tree outside City Hall.
And just like that, Mapleville had a new unofficial weatherman.
Conter: Mr. Wiggles
Doug’s roommate, Max, owned a hamster named Mr. Wiggles. The little guy had a weird habit of standing upright and squeaking every time a cold front rolled in. At first, Max thought it was coincidence—until Doug’s sneezes and Mr. Wiggles’ weather-squeaks lined up five times in a row.
So, naturally, Doug bought him a tiny bowtie and named him Assistant Meteorologist.
Forecasting Mayhem Begins
Doug and Mr. Wiggles began livestreaming daily forecasts from their living room. Their setup: a whiteboard, a cactus named Stormy, and a weather bell that rang whenever Mr. Wiggles sneezed.
Their predictions weren’t always right, but they were always entertaining. And strangely… the more chaotic the method, the more accurate the result.
Doug once spilled chocolate milk while pointing at a raincloud drawing, and the next day, the local dam overflowed.
The Old Guard Isn’t Pleased
Rick Storm, the town’s actual meteorologist, was livid.
“This man uses a rodent and a whiteboard. I have a degree. I have radar. I have graphics with spinning sun icons.”
But people loved Doug. He brought vibes, not just stats. His forecasts sounded like this:
“Good morning! It’s foggy enough to lose your dignity and probably your mail. Mr. Wiggles did three backflips, so expect wind gusts that make you rethink hats.”
A Town Divided
Soon, Mapleville had two camps:
Team Doug & Wiggles (aka The Sneeze Squad)
Team Rick Storm (aka The Doppler Disciples)
A town-wide weather-off was scheduled for Saturday.
The challenge: Predict the weekend’s weather with maximum accuracy and style.
Rick showed up in a suit, surrounded by radar maps and charts.
Doug wore pajama pants, carried a box of tissues, and held Mr. Wiggles aloft like The Lion King.
The Prediction Showdown
Rick gave a classic forecast:
“High pressure system moving in. Expect clear skies, light breeze, 73 degrees.”
Doug said:
“I ate a taco too fast and Mr. Wiggles ran in circles. Expect drizzle, confused clouds, and possibly weirdly shaped puddles.”
The town watched.
Saturday arrived with… weirdo drizzle, sideways fog, and a giant puddle in the shape of New Jersey near the bakery.
Doug and Wiggles won by a landslide.
National Attention
A national news crew picked up the story. Doug was invited to Good Morning America. Mr. Wiggles got his own Twitter account. A startup offered them an app deal.
The app, called SneezySkies, combined Doug’s intuitive forecasts with Mr. Wiggles’ squeaks, spinning wheels, and the occasional cheese preference.
It hit 500k downloads in a week.
The Rick Storm Redemption
Feeling defeated, Rick quit the news and started working at the local farmer’s market.
But something changed. Away from the charts and suits, Rick found peace. He started using pinecones to predict humidity and built a wind-measuring scarecrow named Barry.
Doug invited him back—on one condition: You gotta let Mr. Wiggles do the closing line.
Rick agreed.
The Final Forecast
Now, every Thursday night, the duo hosts Weather & Whimsy, a live show where Rick explains the science, Doug talks about cloud moods, and Mr. Wiggles squeaks once to end the segment.
Their sign-off? |
