I can still vividly recall the exact moment I arrived at Pure Life’s residential program in August 2017. I drove onto campus with a flicker of hope but no real expectation that God would actually meet me and change my life. I came because three different pastors had told me that I needed to apply to the residential program. I did not choose the program to save my marriage, my family, or my business, but to save my life. The Lord had made it clear to me that if I did not get away from my everyday life, I would not live to see another year. I felt in my heart that I was nearing the end if a major change did not take place.
I was completely strung out on prescription drugs, alcohol and pornography. Recently, my pursuit of sin had led me into adultery. My business was entangled in seven lawsuits, a situation which I later realized was God’s instrument to bring me into a real relationship with Him that went deeper than just head knowledge. I thought I had always loved the Lord, but my heart was cold and void of love. I realize now that I did not have the capacity to love anyone because I had never felt or understood God’s love. I also thought I knew the scriptures well. But during one of my early counseling sessions my counselor said to me, “Nathan you really know a lot of scripture, don’t you?” Then his next statement shook me to the core when he said, “We really only KNOW the scriptures that we are willing to obey; the rest is just head knowledge.” So, it turned out I knew very little scripture after all.
It was not long after that session that everything began to change in my life. One day, I came across a Hebrew term in the concordance, kilyah, and started to study this word that refers to the “inward parts.” That night I came across the very same word in one of Pastor Steve’s books and I knew instantly that God was wanting to do something inside me. The next morning, I woke up at 3:00 A.M. and everything was different. I was absolutely surrounded by a LOVE I did not know to exist. I could only lay there and weep, as I knew I was in the presence of the Lord in a way I had never been before. From that day on things changed quickly for me, including my own desires. I had a strong desire to be reconciled to my family and began to learn what true repentance was.
The last several months of my program brought healing to almost every aspect of my life, including the restoration of my relationship with my wife and three children. Even my business back home was in the middle of the best year it had ever seen—and the Lord made sure that happened while I was away to show me it’s all about Him and not me. I started to become smaller, and God started to become bigger. I graduated Pure Life in May 2018, just a few days after the Annual Conference, and immediately moved back home with my wife and children. For the past six years, going to the Annual Conference has been a highlight for Jennifer and me, as well as our children who look forward to going to Kentucky every spring.
The Lord truly delivered me from myself and from sexual sin, and I am enjoying a life that is no longer controlled by abuse, guilt, and shame. I clearly saw how the Lord had begun fighting for me when I was in the program at Pure Life and He has continued to do that. Just 18 months ago our last lawsuit was settled. In addition, the Lord saw fit to give us a 44-acre property that includes indoor basketball and pickleball courts. We have named this property “The Refuge” and we believe the Lord will have us use the property for ministry to youth.
Jennifer and I will forever be grateful that the Lord chose Pure Life Ministries as the place that would bring me into a real relationship with Him and restore our family.