I'm calling it to your attention because the tips are NOT effective. For the most part, the author is encouraging women to suppress their negative emotions, to focus on the "advantages of your decision," and, if necessary, "Use medication if needed" to stomp down any negative feelings.
Fortunately, the website allows comments. I posted the comment below...twice. The first time it was removed as "spam." I reposted it just now, but it may get blocked again. So, take that as a warning that anything you post may also get blocked, But since I did take the time to compose a comment, I hope you won't mind my sharing it with you.
Is there any medical evidence to support the claim that these are "6 Effective Tips" for dealing with mental health problems following an abortion? Or are they just tips from someone with no experience in post-abortion counseling offered with the mere hope they might work?
As the author of a
comprehensive review of the medical literature on abortion and mental health, I can affirm that negative emotional responses are common after abortion. But I also know that very little research has been published regarding the ways to resolve and heal feelings of loss, guilt, anger, alienation, impacted grief or any of other many possible reactions.
What bothers me most about this article is that five of the six suggestions simply encourage denial and repression of negative feelings. Push them down. Convince yourself that your negative feelings don't matter because some good came from it. There is truly no evidence that repressing your feelings will make your life better. In fact, the opposite is more likely to be true. Repressed feelings tend to burble and boil and get mixed up with other losses and hurts and erupt in a worse form sometime later in life.
I can endorse the recommendation to find an
understanding friend or therapist who is experienced in dealing with pregnancy loss. But be forewarned, most people, including therapists, are uncomfortable talking about a pregnancy loss, much less an abortion. Many make the mistake of dismissing the loss, just as this author did, by saying things meant to be helpful, like "You did the right thing," or "You can have another baby some day," or "It wasn't really a baby," all of which unintentionally say "Your feelings are wrong. You shouldn't feel grief, or guilt, or loss, Something is wrong with you if you actually want the rest of us to acknowledge your feelings." That just doesn't help. Countless women have told me how these efforts to be kind have actually been hurtful.
What women (and men) who are struggling with an abortion need is understanding and support that recognizes the validity of their feelings of loss.
Too many people think that if a woman seeks an abortion then she got what she wanted and should be content with that. But the fact is that over 60% of women willing to talk about their past abortions report feeling pressured to choose an abortion by other people (partners, parents, doctors, employers, social workers, etc.) Many others feel pressured by circumstance. Many more were highly ambivalent about whether to abort or carry to term, but felt rushed to make a decision that they then later regret.
This author opines: "if you have chosen abortion, it was a justified decision. Accept your grief and live your life as you want." That is decidedly unhelpful. Even ridiculous. Are we never to live reflective lives? Are we to always hang onto the claim that whatever I choose is thereby a "justified decision" simply because I chose it -- even if I chose it under feelings of pressure, or duress, confusion, or dismay?
Regarding the suggestion to use medication if needed, I won't dispute that option if it is pursued in conjunction with counseling that addresses the source of the negative feelings. But when I read it I was reminded of the complaint of a woman who spent years abusing drugs to dull the pain of her post-abortion grief and guilt: "When I finally saw a psychiatrist he said he didn't know how to help me with as much pain as I felt, so he wanted me to take some drugs. But that's the same thing I had been doing for years!"
I suggest that if the author and/or LegalReader.com really want to offer insights on post-abortion healing, they should
interview therapists who actually have expertise in counseling on abortion and pregnancy loss issues.
