It's the new year season!
...there's something else you need to know!
Please pay attention!
I'm one man... and two shipping houses. Not Jeff Bezos. I'm not even a corporation. I'm a "boutique company" selling natural medicine. Thus, it takes my crew 24 hours to prepare and ship your order.
24 hours!
Got it!?
Let me explain, though, how this is not the 24 hours you think it is!!!!
Please for the love of gawd understand that your order is not immediately rushed out the door the second you place it.
Your order has to be SENT to a warehouse where employees work. They take off on weekends and holidays - the same way everyone else does.
It takes a full 24 hour BUSINESS DAY to process an order after you place it. Think about that for a minute.
Thanksgiving is NOT a business day. Neither is Black Friday. Christmas. New Years...MLK Day... Neither is Saturday or Sunday.
If nobody's working, nothing is processing.
Processing means, "Ready for shipping."
If no one's in the warehouse - who is going to pick the products?
Who is going to put them into a box?
Who is going to verify the right products were picked?
Who is going to put the stuffing in?
Who is going to put the label on?
Who is going to put it in the right carrier basket for pickup?
ANSWER: No one. Not until the next BUSINESS DAY. Monday.
Faster shipping STARTS when the CARRIER has the package in hand. Not when you place your order.
That's why it's important that you take a minute to really understand what it means when we say that it takes a FULL 24 HOUR BUSINESS DAY TO PROCESS AN ORDER.
Your order is not sitting waiting for two days for someone to pick it up. It's WAITING FOR THE WAREHOUSE TO OPEN. We don't work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Do you?
When you pay for 3 day shipping - the 3 days STARTS AFTER the order has PROCESSED. NOT from the second you place the order. So, if you place it on a Friday night - it's not going to be READY FOR SHIPPING until when?
Not Saturday - Saturday's not a business day. Not Sunday - Sunday's not a business day. That order is not going to process until Monday night.
That means a carrier won't even pick it up until Tuesday - because the carriers aren't out picking up packages at 10 o'clock at night! Tuesday is when your "faster shipping" BEGINS on your order you placed Friday night.
If you're going to place online orders with any company - you have to take a minute and really ensure you understand this. This is true for just about ANY company.
Unless your ordering from Jeff Bezos...that's the guy who founded Amazon...He also built a rocket to go into outer space. I can't even put a f@#ckin' LED headlight on my 1999 4Runner. Are you starting to see the difference?
It simply does not work the way you think it does. This is the way it works and you have to understand this. We are very clear - and have always been transparent about this:
IT TAKES A FULL 24 HOUR BUSINESS DAY TO PROCESS AN ORDER.
------> Now...let't talk about the 50,000 bars of soap my daughter has made and shipped from Etsy. You can verify this fact by simply looking at the Etsy sales page, which makes it public - 7,715 6-packs of soap...
She makes her own website. She makes her own shopping cart. She makes the soap. She cuts the soap. She packages it. She ships it...guess how long those orders take to process! Same, 24 hours.
She takes her shit seriously too...or is now LOL.
But even then, it still takes 24 hours of a business day!!!! And honestly, my daughter might just say F@#CK IT and take 2 or 3 days to ship...or if you piss her off, not even ship it at all.
----> But! The good news is, our Wonder Woman Bars under the Filthy Animal brand are selling for a HUGE discount, plus every order comes with a FREE chapstick! These are made of skin, face and hair!!!!! Click here now to get a 6-pack! Best gifts in the game and the best damn soaps!
Dare to Live Young!
The People's Chemist
