How to love your spouse by Susan Barnes, an Australian pastor's wife

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church ... and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:25 & 33 

When Jesus was giving instructions regarding our relationship with one another he said, "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31). 

Yet when it comes to the intimate relationship between husbands and wives, Paul doesn't say husbands and wives treat your spouse as you would like to be treated. God knows that men and women feel and express love in different ways and here Paul outlines specifically how to love your spouse so that they actually feel loved. 

To wives he says respect your husbands. If wives show respect for their husbands they feel loved. This means respecting their opinions, their decisions and the work that they do. It means holding them in high regard and letting them know they are a success in your eyes. 

To husbands he says love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Wives feel loved when their husbands sacrifice something important for them, whether that is their preferences, their ambitions, or their time. 

So often we fail to love well because we go about it in ways that are most comfortable for us and forget that God made men and women different. When it comes to loving our spouse, let's bare in mind the wisdom God has given us so that we can love well. 

Susan has a website containing inspirational articles, book reviews, and devotional thoughts on Bible passages. Contact