Is it Kind, is it True, is it Necessary?
Ken Ebright
“When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you,” (Ephesians 4:29 (NCV).
My seventh-grade teacher always shared this saying when we kids were being cruel to each other. He would ask, “Is it kind, is it true, is it necessary?”
When we lightheartedly ‘tease’ people, it can be extremely hurtful. One day, a woman I used to work with made comments about my mental capacity. I don’t think she meant to be hurtful, but the way she said it made me feel as though I was ‘dumb’. I found it hurtful because I had a learning disability as a child. The kids often picked on me in a cruel way. So, for a grown woman at work to comment on my mental capacity was difficult and devastating, to say the least.
I sing in a choir of mostly men, which also includes women with alto voices. As usual, I dress up for services on Sunday. One woman in the choir sarcastically commented. “You can actually dress nice!” The way she phrased it was rude and hurtful. She could have said something like, “You look sharp today,” so instead of being offended, I would have felt good about myself.
The verse I selected says, “Do not say harmful things.” We should ask ourselves, are our words kind, true, or necessary? Let’s help people become stronger and encouraged through the words we say – not discouraged and feeling bad about themselves. I remember when I spoke at my dad’s funeral. My niece shared kind words that encouraged me after I stood up to speak, and that really stuck with me. I appreciated her kindness.
Building people up and not tearing them down is what we need to do in life. Before you speak, ask yourself – ‘Are my words kind, true, and necessary?’
Ken loves to share the gospel and to worship God. Contact
