Hi Friend!
Happy 1st weekend of December to you!
Who knew Julie T's suggestion to write about comparison's would be so well received as I got a lot of nice email replies and comments. Could be another example to "Listen to the woman!"
Speaking of women.
Melissa M shared a really thoughtful email pointing out that comparison is not always bad and she cited examples of when it's good. We probably all knew that comparison, couldn't always be bad (this apple or that apple), like we probably all knew that comparing doesn't always make us feel good or bring out our best. Here's some yang to the yin of the last 2 emails I sent you ("Stop the Comparisons " and "Comparison is the thief of joy").
Yang to the Yin Enter Melissa ...
"Comparison may be the thief of joy, but not when it motivates you and inspires you. Last night, I watched Christine do 4 sets of pike pushups like a beast! It didn't make me compete against her, even if I could do them well with my right shoulder problem. But it did motivate me to push myself beyond what I have been doing with my 4 sets and reps because it was inspiring. I didn't do an extra set of band relays to "compete" against Walter, he was going to win no matter what. I did it because he did it and we still had a little time to get that one more set in. If he could get in more of a workout in the same amount of time I was given, then why couldn't I?? Plus, I was paired with Pete, who was a fun and motivated partner, that liked (I hope) to be pushed and so we helped push each other...
...Most of us in boot camp are athletes and former athletes who love competition and love the friendly camaraderie of pushing each other to be faster, better, stronger, and quicker. Most of us are also internally motivated to push ourselves on our own to some extent-even by simply signing up for CYBBC, which clearly is a tough workout and something many people would never choose to do. As former athletes, we do compete to win, but we all know that the true competition is within ourselves. We must push ourselves to be better, stronger, and faster. Beating someone else to the finish line only gives joy for that moment. Pushing past your personal best and then continuing to workout at that level gives renewed joy, confidence, and pride. That is why this group dynamic works. When you have the right dynamic of people that compare themselves to each other, but use that productively to make their own joy by pushing themselves and their partners, then everyone wins.
Just some food for thought. ;)
Melissa"
So...
When is comparison good? Let's start with when it's not.
Comparison is not good... - when the seaweed is always greener in someone else's lake
- when I used to be able to do this, that or the other, but now I can't
- when it makes you feel bad and this feeling bad doesn't lead to + change
- when it is de-motivating
Comparison is good... - when you frame it in helpful, supportive ways (if Christine can do 4 sets of pike push ups, then I can do a little more of whatever I'm doing. if Walter and Bill can get 20 lengths of band relays in 4minutes, then Pete and I can at least finish 20 lengths, even if it takes us a little longer.)
- when you use it to see what's possible
- when it makes you feel good and this feeling leads to + change
- when you draw inspiration
So maybe,
Comparison is good if it's inspirational and leads to + change and it's bad if its de-motivating and leads to - change.
Let's choose to err on the side of caution when comparing until we build up our thoughtful muscles so we can decide when and whether to compare or not.
Re-calibrating daily,
Coach Mike
p.s. CYBBC has many members who were former athletes in some capacity, however all our members, even the one's who were never athletes or were never physically active, currently train as athletes because that's how we train. Some use it to compete in sports, races and events and others use it to be great in their lives.
p.p.s. Melissa was the captain of the BC Women's Diving Team back in the day, but she won't compare her current diving abilities to what she used to do because that would be apples to oranges and unfair.
p.p.p.s. however she could watch current divers, diving highlight reels or an old video of her diving and choose to find inspiration, appreciation or entertainment from it, without comparing, and that would be o.k.
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