| Hi Friend!
Great day to you! This weekend we went for a long Harbor Walk from Carson Beach to JFK Library to the spot where we had our 2nd date, got married and remember our sons and my dad.
It was a mixed emotion day as we were very tired from our dry run of camping the night before (we tried to sleep in a tent on our roof deck); we were sad & reflective because it was Max & Leo's, 5th birthday; and we were on happy hormone highs because we combined the Harbor Walk / birthday reflection with family self-care (interval sprints).
I wanted to share this with you for multiple reasons.
1. More people than you know have gone through some kind of loss and carry it around with them.
2. Most people who carry around losses weren't encouraged to talk about it back in the day.
3. When you keep things bottled up inside, it can affect your growth and progress because you carry around a heavy load.
4. When you share things good or bad, it helps you to heal, grow and lighten your load.
5. When your losses are woven into the fabric of your daily life via rituals, tributes, celebrations, remembrances, etc... you can more easily remember the people, you said goodbye to too early and the lessons you learned from your time with them, so you can more fully live your life on purpose and make it count.
6. Life is short. We all know that. However saying goodbye to soon, unexpectedly or having the feeling like somebody or something was taken away too soon, makes you feel cheated and horrible and all of these feelings, make you want to live differently and make things count! Most especially your life!
7. Its o.k. to feel all the feelings. You don't have to be too tough, otherwise you're risk setting yourself up for failure later.
8. Pay now or pay later. When Max & Leo passed, I chose to pay now by mourning fully and redoing / reworking all my priorities. It had a cost as my business suffered and shrunk from a lack of attention vs. growing, but now I'm good. I'm solid. I'm strong. I have peace. My business is growing.
9. Other times in life I chose to pay later, by putting my head down and working through my challenges and that's a good tool too, but I don't know that I ever resolved the hard things, I only worked through them. In this situation, like I said, I'm good.
10. Coping. When you feel bad, you're at risk of doing things that are bad for you even though they might feel good in the moment (e.g. too much comfort food, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, relationships, media, gambling, spending, staying up late, etc...). It's hard to emotionally separate, doing things that make you feel good even though they're bad for you emotionally, so you have to use your brain and life experience to counter how bad you feel. It's possible. You can do it.
With that said.
Remember: exercise always makes you feel good.
You can start slow and do more as you go.
Good food sometimes tastes better in the moment compared to bad food, but it almost always makes you feel better later.
Bad food sometimes can taste better in the moment and almost always makes you feel worse later.
When you go through hard things, life gives you a free pass. Not a long one, but a free pass. Take advantage of it and then get back on track while you work through your feelings and emotions.
Reflecting on my life,
Michael
p.s. did you see how we interwove self-care with celebration, remembrance and reflection?
p.p.s. sad and happy. happy and sad. they go together to keep you balanced.
p.p.p.s. you can do it too!
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