Hi Friend!
Today is one of those internal dilemma days, where your guts are going back and forth and your head is going back and forth over right and wrong, what to do and what not to do.
Strong Roots My dad was born in a small village in Portugal. He was the baby and his family came to America, the very day his small village got electricity. They were sponsored by my grandmothers brother, and were able to come because JFK was welcoming immigrants. It wasn't easy as you might imagine leaving behind everything, your home, your land, your independence and 2 sons who were serving in the military to go to a foreign land, with a different language and work in factories vs. farms, all for the chance to give yourself and your 5 younger kids a better shot at life, but they did it.
And so did many of their siblings and cousins and other extended family.
When they all came to America, they had shared backgrounds and current struggles, and clung to each other as they found their way and made their way in this great new country.
When I was growing up, there was so much family, so many cousins, that I couldn't keep track and still can't. I have to rely on cheat sheets and asking aunts, uncles and cousins for a list of who's who, so I'm not disrespectful. Most people unless their from large families and/or immigrants, don't get it. But there's so much love, that you want to get it.
Everyone is so busy these days. I miss connecting with all my people. It's a real dichotomy to pursue goals and still be present for my little family, yet I feel my bonds fading with my larger extended family and friends. It's sad, but it's life.
The Greatest Poverty My grampy, my step dad's father, and his wife, my grammy, were my chief babysitters growing up. When my grammy passed, my grampy was so lonely he would always teach us that loneliness is the greatest poverty. It stuck.
Values I've been writing a lot about goals because the end of 1 year and beginning of another in my opinion is a great time to reflect, course correct and set new goals. I love resolution month, so I'm actively working on my goals. If you currently train with me, you may have seen me pull out my goals which I'm carrying in my pocket.
While you're setting goals, it's important to know what you value because if your goals don't match your values, there will be a disconnect with your pursuit and you'll either be marching along dragging your feet or if when you achieve your goal it won't be as satisfying or worse it could be costly because it's not congruent with your values.
As you might imagine, my #1 value is health. I decided along time ago, nothing is worthwhile if I don't have health. If I can't move, think, breathe, function independently and well, then nothing else will matter to me.
My #2 value is relationships. I love people, maybe not all people, all the time, but I love people. I get energy from people, especially my people, and if you're reading this, you're my people. I also know from living a lot of life so far, that everything needs to have its balance or moderation or boundaries, so even though I love people, I can't stay home all day everyday with my people and I can't stay at parties or get togethers everyday all day, because then my other values will be out of balance.
Which brings me to today's dilemma. My dad's cousin's, which makes it my 2nd cousins, I believe and who's kids, at least one of them, I'm cool with because we're similar ages, is my 3rd cousin (?), father passed away. The wake and funeral are back in my home town, the Lud (aka Ludlow), which is 60+ minutes from Newton and, not that it ever is, comes at an inconvenient time for me.
Right in the hot pursuit of my 2019 and beyond goals. I could take Vivi out of school and go to the funeral, on a daddy daughter day, or I could miss super valuable work on my business time and I'm conflicted. I have a stomach ache, but
1. You never regret going, but you may regret not going. 2. The people remember you going and that feels great to them, especially when they feel less than great. 3. These people and many others have showed up for my people's funerals and it always feels great to see them, despite the challenges. 4. These are my people. 5. Relationships are my #2 value. 6. It's a chance to see all my other people, even if for only a moment which always feels good.
So, take home message for you is,
1. Know what's important to you. What do YOU VALUE? 2. Set goals that MATCH your values. (you did set goals, right?).
Adjusting to uncomfortableness,
Coach Mike
p.s. I still got my workout in, so value #1 was addressed, and it was filled with PR's, which is a bonus!
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