Hi Friend!
You ever watch the Nutty Professor? (Gosh, Eddie Murphy sure is a talented actor, especially when he plays different characters in the same scene like he does in this movie and in Coming to America). In any event, do you remember the family dinner scene, where the different characters were passing gas. I loved that! I know many people don't, and I know we have to steer clear of this subject matter with our daughter and all the other littles, but that a'hem, stuff, is funny.
Here's the scene for a refresher.
Train Ride Well, Vivi and I were riding the train yesterday morning, and per our usual we played, iSpy, and what did the daddy pony spy, Poops! Actually potties, but enough to engage the bunny for a moment until she found the advertisement.
Poop Donor! Save Lives. Earn Money. Donate Your Stool. Givepoop.org. I'm in the changing lives business, my wife the saving lives business, so secondary to the word poop and seeing potties, the Saving lives, caught my attention, as did earning money because who doesn't like to make money. And then, there it was. Donate your stool. How funny is that (I can see Vanessa rolling her eyes right now; what would Gottman say about rolling your eyes bride?)?
What an interesting concept?
Can you imagine telling your grandparents, that they could make money by doing their business in a bag, dropping it off and earning ~$1,000+ over the next 60 days ($40/drop off; minimum of 3 drop offs per week)? I don't know if my family would have done it or not, but those who lived during the depression sure would have given it serious consideration as would farmers living off of rocky land trying to grow crops in Northern Portugal.
You know how frequently an active person following our nutrition plan does their business. Frequently and regularly!!! Gotta love 1-2 palms of protein per meal and the high fiber of oatmeal, rice, quinoa, sweet potatoes, legumes, nuts, whole vegetables and fruits, washed down with half your body weight in ounces of water per day. GI system gets tuned up and works like clockwork.
Why you should care? This is meant to be a fun and entertaining newsletter, however, there is seriousness behind it. Let's start with the saving lives.
Saving Lives Some people have GI systems that aren't working properly and they need the bacteria (microbiomes) found in healthy digestive tracts to help them get back on tract so they can live a normal life. Microbiomes help break down the foods we eat to get energy to grow, repair and function as well as to move along the unused food to its final destination.
Where do you find healthy microbiomes? Poop.
Health Matters In order to become a donor, you have to have healthy poop. In order to have healthy poop, you need to be healthy. How do you know, how healthy you are? Well, if your blood gets accepted for donation, that's one way, but not end all be all. Another way to tell is if your stool, is worthy of donating. So this is another way to track your progress. I doubt I'll make the time to do this, but if they came to me, I'd probably consider it.
Whats the procedure? You fill out a registry, do a questionnaire, complete an interview, give blood and provide a stool sample for analysis. If everything is o.k., then you can help. Donating blood makes people feel good because you can help save lives and this is another way to help people and because of the frequent inconvenience you can make some extra cash. Who knows, maybe they'll have top shelf, premium stools / microbiomes available for purchase one day. Imagine that. Well, hoity, toity, my poops are Class AAA, Platinum, 5 Diamond, 5 Gold Star poops. How about yours?
Uber, Lyft or Poop Donor!
So there you have it. If you want a side hustle, not that you were considering it, you could drive Uber or Lyft, and when you drive through Cambridge (Kendall Sq / Central Sq), you could drop off your business and continue along your way. I mean, you're gonna go to the bathroom anyways, why not monetize it. You can make money on the sun, the wind, the water and now, ... poops.
Amused,
Coach Mike
p.p.s. imagine your personal baseball card, with your health stats on the back: Throws Right, Bats Right. Height: #'##", Weight: ###.## BMI of ##.#. BF% ##.##. Lean Mass ###.##, Fat Mass ##.##. Waist to Hip Ratio ##.##. Microbiome #####Stars. 10yd Dash Time #.##. Vertical Jump ##.##Inches. Mile Run time ##.##., et...Push Ups ###/min, Chin Ups: ##/min, 1-Leg Squats ###/min. |
