| Hi Friend!
Did you ever have that summer of weddings?
That summer when so many people in your world got married.
That was a fun summer right?!
Things change though after that summer as people start going in different directions.
Did you ever play team sports?
One of the things athletes at any level say they miss most about playing is the locker room. Hanging with your boyz / girlz, working your routines, playing a sport you love. It sure is special and it sure is bonding. It's a hard thing to part with at the end of a season, career or life change.
One of the best things about training in a program vs. by yourself all of the time are the people. The community. The friendships. The support. The relationships. The challenges. The camaraderie.
This week we had a member lose a close relative, an uncle. The week before a member said goodbye to her dad. The month before, that same member said goodbye to her father in law. The month before that a different member said goodbye to her dad. Last year a couple members said goodbye to their moms.
Marriage. Life changes. Deaths. Job changes. Moves. Births.
There will always be changes, you know this. And change can be good, but it's not always easy. Relationships are one of the most rewarding things a person will ever experience. My grandfather used to tell me, "loneliness is the greatest poverty". He's right. Nobody wants to feel alone.
Tony Robbins, says, one of the best thing about marriage is the sharing. When you have a close person to share your successes with and that person shares your successes with others and then those people tell others and it comes back to you, it feels like being in a 100,000 person stadium and everyone cheering you on. It feels great. Amazing sometimes.
Relationships have a special power. If you know change is constant and you know people will come and go because of changes, how can you build in other relationship support systems. Relationships to share success with and relationships to lean on during difficult times.
Group Self-Care (aka Teams)
One obvious or not so obvious way is through group self-care. It could be joining a recreational league like soccer, basketball, soccer or frisbee. It could be through training an art like Krav Maga, Karate, BJJ, Tai Chi, dancing, acting, singing, choir. It could be joining a program like yoga, pilates, a run group, a gym, a class, a boot camp or a strength and conditioning program. It doesn't really matter what you choose as long as you like what you're doing, you're working on yourself and you're consistent at it. If you don't like what you're doing, how magnetic will you be to others.
And if you want to get the true, deep relationships and friendships you have to show up. Repeatedly. Just like in life. It's the consistency. You can't always have deep conversations while you're working on yourself, but those repeated exposures of showing up are bonding. And its some of the best bonding too because everybody is feeling good and like their best selves. It's what makes it feel so special. The showing up turns into small conversations. The small conversations may lead to a new tennis buddy like Pete and Ricardo or a new run buddy like Stephanie and Alicia or some light hearted trash talking like Melissa said to Walter last Monday, when she had a dumbbell for an exercise and he didn't, "I'm using a weight, just so you know". That bonding grows organically over time. Maybe you see your training mate out in public and you do the double take because they look different cleaned up. Maybe you're dining at the same place and you decide to combine tables because why not?
Long Lasting vs. Fast Going What's built slowly lasts a long time. What's built quickly, might not. If you're working on your health, and you're living a complimentary life outside of the gym, there's a good chance you're going to be here a while and maybe outlive a lot of special people in your world. It'll be real helpful to already be building relationships with others so when you have more time for new friendships the one's you've been working on the last number of years, might be natural fits for new invitations.
One thing I'm most proud of with Change Your Body Boot Camps are the people. We can't take everyone, even if I'd like to help everyone. We have a very special group of people, who want to be there, like to be there and want to support, encourage and receive support and encouragement from others. They tell me often, they really like the people they train with. I think we all feel blessed and lucky to get to train with such awesome people. That's why we've been around for 10 years now. (I know, that's crazy).
Remember that change, death and taxes are the constants in life. If loneliness is the greatest poverty, and you know people are going to leave your life, then, hedge your bets by working on your health to enjoy a long life and show up consistently to some sort of self-care program you enjoy. Be yourself and you'll build relationships and camaraderie naturally workout by workout over time.
building camaraderie,
Coach Mike
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