With sweaty palms, I sent this email around last October knowing that it would ruffle some feathers.
[In the event you don't want to go back and read it, the gist is this: if you want the world to be better, don't complain about it or point fingers. Instead, BE the better person you want others to be.]
Sadly, I was right (I've never had so many unsubscribes due to a single email).
Yet it was worth it because it needed to be said. And I also received a lot of thoughtful responses.
I'm taking another risk and am back at it again today, Friend...
The world has a serious empathy problem. Everyone wants other people to empathize with them (and to extend them some grace). Yet few want to give it out (unless it's to those who check certain 'belief' boxes).
But ask yourself whether you're likely to receive it if you're unwilling to give it.
This has been a growing issue. It used to pertain primarily to politics and religion. But it's starting to bubble up everywhere. The pandemic - and the fear so many feel around it - has made things much worse. Which is a whole other issue we'll have to tackle soon too (because as a mindset coach I'm troubled by how non-resilient this has made people).
Instead of being willing to extend grace or empathy, it's so easy to assume the worst of people because... they don't understand, they're dumb or they're just bad people.
It's human nature to want to pick a side (and then stick with it no matter what). And to want to see things in black/white, as right/wrong.
That's how you get people saying that the unvaccinated shouldn't receive medical care. Or celebrating when someone dies (who you didn't agree with).
I hate to break it to you but THAT's evil. And where does it stop?
The truth is that there's nuance in the world. There's rarely a perfect choice. Sometimes there isn't a clear "right" answer.
And when you assume, you close your mind off. There's no curiosity or desire to understand (which stagnates your own growth, by the way).
A free, just and decent society depends upon grace and empathy.
At the risk of alienating you, I'll give you a real-life example of how this is showing up in my own life...
When it comes to masking, you can find scientific papers and plenty of doctors to back up both sides. Which side is right? [Honest answer: don't know].
What I do know is that I went from being a 100% supporter of masking to questioning whether they're worth it. Because my very social 11-year old has suffered from depression during the past year (much of it directly linked to masking).
When questioning whether masks are truly worth it, I've had people tell me that I'm a heartless grandma-killer.
I could turn the tables on them, accusing them of not caring whether my son kills himself. But instead I remind myself that they have their own life experiences and beliefs. And seek to understand them.
My ask of you today is this: extend grace to others. Be empathetic. Especially to those with differing beliefs and opinions. Even when they're unwilling to extend it to you.
You'll be happier for it. And you might just make the world a better place as a result.
XO,
P.S. There's a new Life & Law Podcast episode out today that covers how to prepare for your annual review (to listen, go >>>here). It's a must-listen for anyone with an upcoming review who wants to get the absolute most out of the process.
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