Happy Wednesday, Friend. Welcome to the Course Correction Newsletter!
This past weekend was full of baseball for me and my family (both my boys play
and the Fall season has begun). And while watching games all weekend long, I got to thinking about how much life is like sports.
Let me back up a bit and explain.
Noah (my youngest) is on a team that doesn’t win a lot of
games. Despite their record, these kids are
enjoying themselves. The emphasis of the
coach (who happens to be my hubby) and the parents is on learning, improving their skills, and having fun. It’s all about the journey (and the kids are
getting better, by the way).
Zachary (my oldest) is on a select baseball team. There’s a bit more emphasis on winning, but
the primary focus is about developing the boys’ skills and enjoying themselves
along the way. We were lucky we found
this team, because not all select baseball teams have this mindset.
Sometimes we see teams, coaches, and parents who are all
about the win – and only the win. And
boy do they react negatively when they don’t win (and truthfully, they don’t
handle winning very well either).
Have you noticed that, much like in sports, people view life
in one of two ways? Either as a zero-sum
game (with a win/lose mentality) or as a journey (where the focus is on learning
and growing).
Life with a
Win/Lose Mentality
The win/lose folks keep score. Life is like a competition – one that can only be
won or lost (with no in-between). Although
winning brings an extreme high (because it’s thrilling), that thrill is
fleeting. And then it’s off to find
another way to “win”.
And the losses are tough to take – because it means that
they’re a “loser”. To these folks, life
is often unfair. It hurts too much to be
a loser, so they run from taking responsibility from their “failures”.
Which means that they don’t learn much from their “losses”. Many valuable lessons that could be learned are left on the table. Because,
with a win/lose mentality, they’re meaningless. And the lessons learned aren't always the right ones.
This way of thinking often leads to a life full of extreme
highs and extreme lows. And never feeling content.
Those with a win/lose mentality are ever
searching for how to feel fulfilled in life. Yet they never find the answer they're looking for.
Nonetheless, they’re convinced the next “win” will help them finally find fulfillment. But, as time goes by, those wins are starting to feel empty and without meaning.
And life becomes exhausting.
Viewing Life as a
Journey
Those with a journey mentality view life very differently
than the win/lose folks. They feel that
life is about learning and growing. And see the opportunity for new learning and
growth when mistakes are made or “success” isn’t achieved.
These folks believe that the best lessons in life often come
from mistakes, difficulty, and failure. So,
when difficulties occur and mistakes happen, they look closely for what lessons
can be learned.
And they don’t view results that they don’t like as “losing”
– because they know they’re gaining much from the experience.
This doesn’t mean that these experiences don’t cause pain or
that they’re always happy. But, because
they know that the lessons they’re learning will ultimately make their lives
better, they’re able to move on from this pain more quickly.
And life is more enjoyable – even during tough times. Because joy is found in the journey itself. And they know that they’re growing stronger because
of their experiences and have faith that they’ll come out the other side with
more wisdom.
For them, life isn’t a tally of wins and losses. It’s about being able to say at the end that
they’ve lived their lives well.
Final
Thoughts (and Questions for You)
If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m solidly in the “journey”
camp. But I wasn’t always this way. Once upon a time, I was a very much in the win/lose
camp.
I thought that life was difficult and complicated. And found it hard to “win” (in fact, I thought
that my life was destined for a losing record).
This was exhausting and finally got me questioning whether I wanted to
continue living this way.
I could continue living life the way I’d always been living
it – leaving me exhausted, depressed, and unhappy.
Or I could choose to view life as the journey
it really is, which would allow me to forgive myself and others, learn from my
experiences, and find more joy in my daily existence. And to take control of my life and live it my way.
So, which camp do you fall in? Are you a win/lose person or are you a journey
goer? Or are you a little of both?
Which camp would you like to be in?
Because, just like me, you have the power to choose which
camp you’re in. And if you aren’t
solidly living as a journeyman (or journeywoman), then I invite you to make a
different choice.
And, if you’re ready to make the choice and would like support
and guidance on how to live with more intention, I invite you to talk with me for a free consultation. All you need to do is hit reply to this email or click here to schedule a free
consultation with me.
All my best,
Heather
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