What do you do when life gets messy and the unexpected occurs, instantaneously transforming you from feeling confident and in-control to mentally wrung-out and out-of-control? In these moments,"normal" self-care doesn't work as well. So, what can you do to get back on track?
This is exactly my life right now. My uncle died unexpectedly a few weeks ago. Instead of visiting him this past weekend as was originally planned, my family spent the weekend going through his personal items to find something to remember him by. And as the executor of his estate, I'm being reminded daily of how much I'll miss him.
As a result, I feel physically tired and mentally frayed around the edges. Which is bleeding into the rest of my life and especially into my business.
Because I'm a one-woman shop, I do a lot within my business that has nothing to do with coaching. Things like writing articles and emails, drafting social media posts, and reaching out to and following up with speaking and workshop opportunities.
Typically, I find these things interesting and challenging - even fun. But right now they feel overwhelming and I dread doing them. And the stuff I typically do to get me motivated and focused each morning isn't working well.
So, the question is: what can be done? When something happens that transforms your life into a runaway mine train, how do you find your way back and start feeling better - especially when what you normally do isn't working?
Before answering this question, let's review a few important items when it comes to self-care: Why revisit this? Because if you don't practice simple and basic self care on a daily basis, then you'll be even worse off when the unexpected "messy" stuff occurs - making it even more difficult to get back on track.
So, do yourself a favor and read the above articles and download the Toolkit if you haven't. They're free resources that will help you. Why not take advantage of them?
Now that we've reviewed basic self-care, it's time for what to do when "normal" self-care isn't working.
Ever notice that much of what we talk about when it comes to self-care is about doing? Mediate. Work out. Eat well. Journal. Practice Gratitude.
All of these things are still great to do - especially when life is difficult. But there's something missing that you need to prioritize in these messy times:
Doing absolutely nothing.
What I'm talking about is taking a mental and physical pause. You might take a few days away from your normal exercise routine or stop doing the same meditation you've been doing the past few months.
And then replace what you typically do with being still and quiet - and getting curious about what your mind and body are trying to tell you. Because your subconscious knows what you need most. You just need to tap into it.
It doesn't matter how you choose to do nothing, so long as you're giving yourself some quiet inactivity time that will allow your subconscious thoughts and feelings to bubble up to the surface. You can do this inside or outside, sitting or laying down. Just be sure to leave your phone behind. ;-)
As an example, here's what I'm doing: I'm pausing my normal morning and evening rituals for the remainder of this week and will be taking 30 minutes every morning and 15 minutes every evening to spend time quietly alone. This time is scheduled on my calendar (to ensure that I'll do it).
I'll start with a few minutes of breath work and then will allow my thoughts and emotions to run free. I plan to have a journal with me in case I want to write something down. And then I'll see what comes up, get curious about it, and follow it's lead.
That's it. I know this sounds simple, but sometimes the simplest things are often the most profound and life-altering.
If life is getting a bit messy for you, take some time to do nothing. And don't do it alone! For support and encouragement, reply to this email and tell me: (1) how you're going to change things up and do nothing for yourself, and (2) what you'd like from me to support you.
Until next time...
XO, | 
