Friend, do you find yourself prioritizing just about EVERYTHING?
This happens so easily, doesn't it?
You're pulled in a million directions, people need you and your time, and you've got stuff that you want to get done too. And so everything becomes a priority.
When everything's a priority, nothing is (and stuff gets dropped too)
There isn't enough time in the day to get everything done - certainly not well. And when you prioritize too much, then nothing gets prioritized at all. And you end up doing a crappy job at just about everything.
Some things must be delegated, some should be put off for another time, and some might just need to be dropped completely.
Besides, something's going to eventually give (and boy do you NOT want to have it happen to you without warning or choice). That's what happened to me. When I was a young lawyer, I had a really difficult time saying "no" to colleagues. And I had a habit of treating everyone's priorities as thought they were mine.
I ended up taking on too much - and lived in a constant state of fear about whether (really, when) something would be dropped. And then it happened...
After saying "yes" to helping someone out on an urgent project (after being guilted into it), I forgot about an important deadline. A deadline that was definitely a priority. Telling the partner in charge was not fun (and is an unfortunate memory that's burned into my brain forever).
3 Prioritization Rules to Live By
That's when I began questioning how I'd been prioritizing - and learned to adopt a few basic rules to help me better determine true priorities of MINE (versus things that aren't - even though they may be priorities to someone else).
These rules have stayed front-of-mind ever since. And, although they don't necessarily make saying "no" any easier, they've definitely helped me to more clearly identify the true priorities from everything else (which is the first step to being able to say "no" with authority).
Using these rules, I've learned to narrow down my to-do's, free up more time for myself, and decrease the amount of stress and chaos in my life.
And I'm guessing you'd like that as well - especially the part about having more time to do what you want.
And that's key, isn't it? To be able to do what YOU want to be doing - including the activities and projects that align with YOUR VALUES and contribute to achievement of YOUR PURPOSE-DRIVEN GOALS. Aren't those your TRUE priorities (instead of the should's, supposed to's, and things that you feel obligated to do because you'd be "good" at them)?
So that you too can start to simplify (and spend less time on things that just aren't that important to you in the grand scheme of things), I'd like to share with you the following three "rules":
Rule #1: Just because something is a priority to someone
else doesn’t make it YOUR priority.
Please note that other people will try to guilt you into
helping them with things that you don’t need to be doing. And, if they're super-sly, they'll try to convince you that their priority is your priority also (often by trying to interconnect something that is a priority to you with theirs).
But take heed, because just because there's a relationship doesn't necessarily mean that it's your priority to do it.
Rule #2: Just because you'd be "good" at something (and using your skills + talents) doesn't make it a priority to you.
This is a BIG trap for many (one that I used to fall for a
lot). For example, I'm organized
and work efficiently. And I’m not opposed
to asking people for charitable donations. Because of these skills, I often get asked to head up all sorts
of charitable projects. And I used to say "yes" almost every time someone asked me to serve.
But I no longer do that. I now only commit myself if it's important and meaningful to me (and hence something that I prioritize for my own reasons). Use your skills and gifts to do what you love (and don't let people convince you that you must use them to your detriment).
Rule #3: Urgency doesn’t make something a priority.
Urgent doesn't automatically equal important. Certainly not to YOU.
When faced with something urgent, ask yourself what would happen if you let it go and didn't do it. What will (or won't) happen? And do you really care all that much?
You may just be surprised by your answer.
Wrapping it Up
Whenever you find yourself over-extended and too busy, ask yourself if you're violating one of the rules above (there's a pretty high likelihood that you will be).
When it comes to prioritizing, what's your biggest area that needs work? Do you also allow your talents and skills to be used against you? Or maybe it's more difficult to say "no" to stuff that's urgent (even when you know that it's not really a priority). What's the hardest thing for you when it comes to proper prioritization?
Until next time...
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