“You’re known to have a sharp tongue.” [Said my managing partner].

Going into that meeting, I thought I’d hear that I was about to get promoted to partner.

Instead of the news I expected, I got this piece of “constructive” feedback.

Which made me feel:

• Confused (never having berated anyone).

• Angry (since the guys with actual sharp tongues never got this feedback).

• Worried this meant no partnership, ever.

You know what I could have done with that information?

Railed about it.

Refused to accept it.

Felt sorry for myself.

Okay, so I did do those things. For about 72 hours.

But then I decided to figure out exactly where this came from and what it meant.

What I soon discovered was that he was referring to my brutal honesty (something that - up to that point - I had been proud of).

Thanks to this feedback, I changed how I gave feedback to others. Because honesty can be delivered with compassion.

This lesson was a gift.

Not only did it help me become a better lawyer and manager (who was lauded for being a strong mentor) but it's the reason my clients rave about my ability to deliver truth in a “no-nonsense yet compassionate, non-judgmental and nurturing way”.

And boy has it helped me to parent more effectively.

Sometimes what we need isn’t what we want, Friend. Be open to hearing what you need.

This is such an important topic for both work and life that I invited a special guest onto the Life & Law Podcast to discuss it further.

Join me and leadership development coach Rachael Bosch for an impactful conversation around how to receive - and also, give - constructive feedback >>>here.

XO,

Heather