You’ve lost everything thanks to a once-every-100-year fire or flood. You unexpectedly lose someone close to you. You’ve been diagnosed with aggressive cancer (and are facing the fight of your life).

[That last one was me back in 2012].

When something like this hits, it's normal to end up in a place where you’re just… Existing.

Whether or not you're in this place now, you've been there in the past and will be there again. Because adversity is part of living life. So...

What can you do, Friend, when life hits hard? How do you transform from existing to living (truly living)?

Here is what has worked for me (that I learned back when I had breast cancer):

Step 1: Recognize

It’s important to fully recognize your feelings (and the thoughts behind them).

Do not try to push your feelings away. Don’t ignore them or pretend they don’t exist. That’s unhealthy and will prevent you from moving forward.

Step 2: Grieve

Sit with your thoughts and emotions. Instead of trying to “get past this” or “fix yourself”, be patient with the grieving process.

You have lost something (maybe many things). You must grieve this loss.

Believe it or not, it is healthy to BE in this space for a time. But only so long as you…

Step 3: Connect

Be with other people. Your people. The ones who get you, who support you, and will pull you out of your funk upon occasion.

Spend time with those going through something similar.

Accept the help that is offered. This will help you to see good in others (and the world). Which will help you process all that you’re going through.

Help those who need help (yes, you can still help others).

Step 4: Ask

It’s not enough to accept other people’s offerings. Ask for what you need.

• From family and friends.

• From charitable organizations and/or support groups.

Being vulnerable in this way is necessary to move forward. It allows your mind to accept what has happened.

Step 5: Act

Despite how uncertain life feels and how chaotic things are, there are things you can control.

Be proactive. Take control where you can.

How?

Reintroduce past rituals and routines - things you did regularly before this happened. Create new ones for yourself.

Want to know more about how to deal with adversity and hardship?

Listen to today’s Life & Law Podcast episode here for an in-depth discussion and recommended tools to assist with this process.

XO,

Heather