There's a voice inside your head that starts jabbering on about how. . .
- it's not the right time
- you don't have the financial resources
- nothing will change regardless of what you do
- things could get worse
- it's too risky
- you'll probably fail
I could keep going.
Here's the thing about that voice: its sole purpose is to focus on the potential negatives so that you'll put on the breaks.
And it's not telling you the whole truth. Just potential half (or less-than-half) truths without any context.
The thing that might've almost happened to me.
Early in my legal career I consistently worked 90+ hours per week, averaged less than 5 hours of sleep per night and rarely saw my husband.
Even though I was miserable, I believed that I was too young to change law firms and that they were all the same anyway (so why bother looking?). And so I kept going as-is for several years (yes, years).
Until my husband decided that he was done with my constant complaining and told me to start taking responsibility for my career and life. Luckily, I listened to him.
I don't want to think about what might've happened had I not because taking responsibility for my life led me to a new firm where I could be in control of my practice and develop it on MY terms (while balancing it with a real life).
All I know is that had I not made the change, I wouldn't be here with you now (and likely wouldn't still be married to my husband or have my two kids).
The good news is that you don't have to be stuck.
People often talk about being stuck. What I want you to know is that you're not really stuck. It's just that you feel stuck because of the voice inside of your head (that's convinced you to do nothing, feel paralyzed).
I'm not saying that you should completely ignore the voice that's warning you. But it's important that you challenge it and consider all the potential positives (something the voice cleverly ignores).
How to take control of your inner voice (and not get stuck).
#1: Give It a Name.
Notice how I treat your inner voice as another person? That's because it's easy to self-identify with it. But it's not WHO you are, and therefore important to separate yourself from it.
Consider giving your inner voice a name (mine is Nellie). Think of her (or him!) as a well-meaning friend who's there to help, always overextends her stay and loves to repeat herself.
#2: Listen (but don't let the voice get repetitive).
Don't ignore what the voice tells you. But don't let her get repetitive.
Once you've heard everything once, tell your voice that she's done her job and thank her. She can go away now.
#3: Identify the Good, the Bad and the What
Put pen to paper and write down all the bad stuff that your inner voice has listed. And then write down all the potential good that could happen.
But don't stop there. Add to the mix the good/bad if you do NOTHING (something few people do but is necessary to make a truly informed decision).
And then list what you'd do if some of the bad things actually happened.
This exercise will help you make more informed decisions and keep moving forward (so that you don't get paralyzed by fears and doubts).
Your next steps.
Is there a big goal or dream that you keep thinking about Friend. . . yet have a million reasons why you shouldn't go after it?
Or a change you want to make within your career or life that you keep putting off?
Use the exercise above to make an informed decision without getting stuck in all the reasons why you "can't". Then, hit reply and tell me where you ended up. I'll respond with tips to help you continue your momentum.
Believing in you!
Heather
P.S. This is Part 7 of an 8-Part series to help you finish the year STRONG. So far, we've covered:
P.P.S. I was recently interviewed on the Be Awesome Podcast.
Have a listen to learn about how to find joy and peace - even in times of anxiety, stress, and overwhelm.
