Here in the United States it's almost Thanksgiving (with Christmas and New Year's not far off). What does that mean? Lots of family gatherings.
Do you find yourself dreading family gatherings? You love your family and all yet... - your sister-in-law's constant political talk;
- Uncle Jerry's drinking;
- Aunt Penny's constant nagging; and
- your brother's "advice" about how to raise your kids
makes you want to pull your hair out and run screaming from the house mid-way through the day. And just thinking about spending the ENTIRE DAY with your family makes you want to break out in hives.
What if I told you, Friend, that you could ENJOY the day? And no, I'm not talking about skipping out on your family gathering.
Simply put: this is all about your mindset. Both the mentality you bring into the day and a few simple techniques can help you stay calm, relaxed, and grateful no matter what goes on during your gathering.
Don't believe me? Neither did my friend Kelly*...
Case-Study on How Mindset Works
A while back Kelly told me about someone (we'll call her Sally) who brings drama and tension to every family gathering. Sally had ruined just about every holiday for Kelly in recent years.
I explained to my friend how to take back control of her mindset and not allow Sally to ruin her day. Kelly didn't exactly believe it was possible. After all, Kelly had no control over what Sally said or did.
Fast forward several months and... Kelly was thanking me for having had a joyous holiday season.
What changed? Kelly decided that she had nothing to lose and took my advice, which helped her to happily enjoy her holiday regardless of Sally's shenanigans.
What's even more amazing is that this simple mindset shift helped Kelly to no longer dread Sally's presence at family functions. Instead, she feels compassion and love toward her (because poor Sally's drama and tension comes from her own insecurities and loneliness).
How to Shift Your Mindset this Holiday Season
Ready to do the same?
Here's what to do when dealing with difficult people (not just at your family gathering, but anytime): - Step 1: Be prepared. This is about putting into practice some simple strategies to make you more aware of what's going on in your own mind, see new perspectives, and be more naturally positive and calm. I talked about this in my newsletter a few weeks ago, but if you missed it (or would like a reminder), go here to re-read.
- Step 2: Be compassionate. When you find yourself starting to react negatively, take a deep breath (or two) and remind yourself that they are human beings with needs and insecurities. And their behavior is a sign of their insecurities. This will help you to be more compassionate toward them and not take their behavior so personally.
- Step 3: Listen with curiosity. Be curious about what's going on that makes them feel the need to act the way they are and how you can be more compassionate and loving toward them as a result. By doing this, you're changing your focus to what's going on for them that makes them so insecure (as opposed to focusing on you). Believe it or not, this is a total game-changer.
And, if you're still having trouble use this 4-step process to work through any negative emotions.
Before I go, in honor of Thanksgiving I want to say thank you.
I am thankful for your support. I am thankful for the good you do in the world. I am thankful for the opportunity to help teach you. I am thankful for the hope you bring to me. I am thankful for you, Friend.
Happy Thanksgiving (even if you're not here in the United States).
Believing in you, | 
