With a big smile (I've never before seen in such a serious woman), she looked me in the eye to say "Heather, you've graduated."
This is what my oncologist said at my annual appointment last Thursday.
Not understanding what she was talking about, I asked what exactly I'd graduated from. And she said...
"You're a 9.5+ year triple negative breast cancer survivor. At this point, you can consider yourself cured."
Well okay, then.
Don't get me wrong. This came as a (very) pleasant surprise.
But it didn't actually change a thing for me. Because fear of recurrence hasn't had any power over me for a long time. [Note: that doesn't mean that I don't fear recurrence, it's just that it doesn't impact my decisions or happiness.]
The thing is. . . fear will always exist. No matter who you are, what you do for a living or your circumstances, you'll battle fear.
Whether it's... fear of speaking, fear of recurrence, fear of what others might think, fear of change, fear of COVID, fear of being honest, fear of your 16-year old driving (one of my current fears), and so on.
What my battle with breast cancer taught me is how to live with fear without getting stuck in it.
Moving on from fear isn't about NOT feeling fear. It's about not letting the fear hold you back from doing the things you want. How do you do that?
- Acknowledge it (instead of pretending it doesn't exist).
- Accept that it may not go away any time soon (or even ever).
- Allow it to just be there.
- Act anyway.
Believe it or not, it's that simple. But note: simple isn't the same thing as easy, so I'm not promising that it'll be sunshine and butterflies. It's messy (like life!).
To take this even further, listen to this week's Life & Law Podcast episode with guest Monica Blacker. In it, we discuss what tends to hold most attorneys back. And surprise, surprise... it's fear (and the #1 fear will surprise you).
Monica has some brilliant advice for how to deal with fear. Listen >>>here.
XO,
P.S. Fear is what tells you that you're not ready and persuades you that you won't make a real difference. Don't listen! These are all lies standing in the way of creating the impact you want.
