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| | | Last week was my Birthday. Once upon a time, I “celebrated” it by pretending to be happy and thankful I was getting older while on the inside I:- worried about my ever-increasing wrinkles;
- obsessed over how old I was getting; and
- thought about all the things I hadn't yet achieved (and beat myself up over those things I was too afraid to try).
There was a lot of self-doubt, worry, and fear. And I'd fallen into a pattern of merely existing while pushing through each day to get to the next (and start all over again).
But 7 years, 4 months and 10 days ago, I was diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer that changed my perspective on just about everything.
Thankfully, I'm cancer-free now. But I see life (and even birthdays) differently.
I've been thinking about how much I've changed since my cancer battle. There are obvious changes, like the fact that I left my legal career and started a new business to help people live happier lives.
But the most important change is internal. Those are what have me truly LIVING my life. I'm talking about all-out, no-regret living that allows me to: - go big and not worry about whether I'll fail (even though I'm still scared);
- do my best, learn from my mistakes, and feel happy regardless of failures;
- be grateful for every day I have, no matter what's going on in my life (even when things have been really hard, such as when my Uncle passed away last year).
I no longer obsess over my ever-increasing wrinkles or how old I'm getting, but instead am grateful for the time I have to continue playing bigger. I can even admit how old I am without feeling embarrassed (I turned 46 last week).
What about you, Friend? Are you living or are you merely existing?
Existing feels directionless, as if you're just going through the motions. Unfortunately, most people believe they have no choice but to exist. But that's not true.
If you're just existing, it's time to make a different choice. Because rest assured, you have a choice... and you don't have to get cancer or some other life-threatening disease to start making the right one.
What It Means to Thrive vs. Merely Exist
I want to make something clear: thriving isn't necessarily about making huge changes in your career, your relationships, or your life. It's about changing how you think.
Your thoughts are what: - convince you to play small instead of go big;
- tell you that's it's easier to play it safe; and
- allow your fears to take control.
Those thoughts are key to how you (1) perceive yourself and your life and (2) make decisions for yourself. They are what determine your reality.
This doesn't mean that you won't have day-to-day tasks and chores that are boring and/or difficult. And it certainly doesn't mean that life won't get messy (it will!). The question is how you'll face, deal with, and get past these things.
It also doesn't mean that you won't eventually make big changes to your job, your career, and/or your relationships. But those changes can only come once you change your thoughts.
Your thoughts are KEY to thriving.
It's Time to Choose
If you're ready to stop merely existing and instead thrive, get started by: - Becoming more aware of how your thoughts are limiting you. Ask yourself what beliefs, fears, and assumptions are holding you back from your big goals and dreams.
- Challenge these beliefs, fears, and assumptions. How true are they, really? Imagine if your worst fear came true - it's likely that you'll still be okay.
- Utilize mindfulness, gratitude and reframing (all those things I keep talking about) to change how you relate to your thoughts. This will help you be more mentally resilient and capable of taking action regardless of your fears.
I'd love to hear from you! What are you committing to do as your first step to thriving instead of just existing?
I read every email and promise to get back to you in support (and even with a few pointers to help you out on your journey).
XO, |
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| | On the Blog
To help you stop existing and to instead feel more passionate about life (while thriving), read the following articles:
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| | Uncage Your Life
If you're unhappy in your career yet haven't done anything about it because you can't stop thinking "what if", "I can't", and "that's just not possible", this is for you.
With Uncage Your Life, you'll: - Parse through all those competing thoughts and get real about what's got you feeling stuck in indecision and self-doubt.
- Discover ways to get past your roadblocks and start taking action to do something already.
- Create a clear plan of action with your next few steps so that you can stop feeling trapped and instead move your career and life forward.
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| | | About Heather
I’m a certified coach and recovering attorney who specializes in helping smart, savvy professionals achieve success on their own terms doing what they love without burning out or settling.
Utilizing evidence-based tools and knowledge from the fields of neuroscience and psychology, I help my clients overcome overwhelm, get clarity around their path to fulfillment, and ignite their inner confidence and mental resilience to make their vision a reality.
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| | Heather MoulderCourse Correction Coaching 214-298-7508 |
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