Two women who couldn't be more different yet had an incredible bond. . .
One was a 50+ year-old New Yorker who was never married and cussed like a sailor (even *especially* at work). The other a 30-something Southern lady who rarely cusses and met her husband in college.
And both were on opposite ends of the political spectrum. One served on the board of Planned Parenthood. The other: fiercely pro-life.
On paper it didn't make much sense (especially if you applied today's so-called political rules).
But none of that mattered. Even though these two ladies talked politics (a lot!).
In case you were wondering, one of these ladies is me. The other was a dear friend and mentor who was unexpectedly taken 11 years ago this week.
Lisa was a force to be reckoned with. She’d fight on your behalf (until she won) - even if it wasn’t good for her career. And she was a rock star lawyer you never wanted to be opposite in negotiation (she almost always won regardless of the facts).
I miss Lisa for many reasons - mostly personal.
But as I ponder what she meant to me, I realize that I also yearn for more like her in this world. Because Lisa was. . .
Forever curious. Open to, respectful of and even thankful for differences. Willing to listen. Always kind. Never worried about not fitting in or being different.
Lisa taught me:
- that political beliefs are opinions (not facts) grounded within people's experiences and values,
- the importance of digging deeper so as to gain better understanding of the WHY behind political opinions, and
- that political differences are to be respected (not derided).
My political conversations with Lisa were some of the most interesting conversations of my life.
We challenged each other’s thinking, sometimes (albeit only slightly) changed each other's mind and gained deeper respect for one another’s political views.
With everything that's been going on the past few years, it feels to me like society is at a tipping point.
Most people seem to presume that those with different political views are wrong, dumb or (worse) evil.
Although exceptions are sometimes made, it's usually only for people you already know well. And often they're still suspect.
This thinking isn't just misguided, it's dangerous (toxic even). To society and also to YOU personally.
In the words of Abraham Lincoln “A house divided against itself cannot stand."
The problem is that it's so easy to do. Your brain is wired to want to take part - be part of the group. And so you have to work hard to counteract it.
But here's what I want you to remember: Societal change rarely occurs through a single event.
Change happens when regular people make the tough choice to hold themselves to the highest of standards so as to be a shining example.
And so today I leave you with a single question to ponder, Friend. . .
Are you willing to be a Lisa?
XO,
