That’s where mine comes from. I’ve always wanted to see my path forward for miles, while also trying making sure that it's smooth, straight, and brightly lit.
Unfortunately, the more I tried to control everything the more out-of-control I felt because...
- the things I was trying to control weren't controllable; and
- I wasn't focusing on the ONE thing I could control (me!).
I finally figured this out after I had kids (boy do they have a way of teaching you how little control you have over life). And the lesson was reiterated (in spades!) when I battled breast cancer (
perhaps I hadn't learned it well enough by then).
How to Identify Controlling Tendencies
What about you, Friend? Do you often try to control things that aren't in your control?
This can be difficult to see in yourself (and hard to admit too).
If you ever find yourself yearning for more control over your life, it's a sure sign that you're trying to control all the wrong things.
Here are some additional signs to be on the lookout for:
- believing that you should succeed at anything you work hard at (failure isn’t an option);
- not delegating because if you want something done right, you must be the one to do it;
- often worrying about and obsessing over all the what if's (and trying to contingency plan for EVERYTHING); and
- holding yourself (and others) to near-perfect standards.
Living this way is exhausting, isn't it? It's as if you're holding a handful of sand and trying to keep it all in by squeezing it as hard as possible (which has the opposite effect of what you want).
How to Start Letting Go of Control
It's time to loosen your grip and start letting go of all the things you can't really control.
For more about why letting go is the answer to taking back control of your life, read:
This article is an oldie (but goodie).
And then start letting go. Here are a few good first steps:
- Instead of allowing yourself to get roped into other people's issues (that are dragging you down), set proper boundaries... and then enforce them.
- Honor your personal values in your daily life (it's the best way to feel good about yourself and something you have COMPLETE control over) instead of worrying what others think of you.
- As you work hard towards a goal, focus on (and measure your success by) doing your best using the information you have in the moment while striving to learn and grow from your experiences.
Before you go, hit reply to this email and tell me ONE THING you've been trying to control that you're ready to let go of. Admitting it out loud will put you into the proper mindset to follow through.
XO,
