Parenting has a way of pointing out your own hypocrisy...
Last week I admitted that I've got a deep-seated fear of rejection that's been holding me back despite the fact that I've been telling my kids that they shouldn't let fear stop them.
And this week, I need to admit something that I've been hiding from.
One of my biggest beliefs is that everyone has special gifts that make them unique. Gifts that are meant to be used and help you to shine bright.
Let me be clear about something: I'm not talking about being a braggart or letting your ego lead the way. Your gifts don't make you more important than anyone else. But they are what make you unique. And you have them for a reason... to use them.
By owning your gifts and using them, you’re making the world a better place. You’re bringing more light into the world and fulfilling part of your purpose.
And boy have I preached this to my boys.
Here's the problem: I have a gift that's related to a core value, and I've been running away from them both.
Yes, the lady who incessantly tells you to LIVE your values has one that she's been hiding.
I've said for a long time that I value service. I even admit to some that I value making an impact. But this isn't exactly true. Because my true value is to inspire, which I define as serving others in a way that makes a positive impact on the world and inspires people into action.
Honestly, this can't be that big of a shock given what I do and what I write about. Yet I've been hiding from it for a long while (and using different language to describe what it is as a result).
Every time I think about wanting to inspire others, all I can think is... - Who am I to believe I can?
- What makes me so special?
- What if someone doesn't agree and thinks me a fraud?
And every time someone tells me that I inspire them, I immediately deflect and feel embarrassed about it. Yet it's obviously one of my gifts (which is why it's a core value).
The fact is, I inspire people to change their lives for the better. I inspire people into positive action so that they can make an impact on the world by using their unique gifts.
I'm ready to claim my gift and allow it to guide me in my work and life. If someone doesn’t agree, like, or respect it, oh well. I'm not here to please or help everyone.
Now it's your turn. Answer the following questions:
- What gift have you not been fully owning up to?
- How will you own it so that you can add more light to the world?
Let's shine together, shall we?
A quick note about what I mean by "gifts". I'm not talking about skills. This isn't about how smart or productive you are. Its about the innate gifts that make you who you are.
As a clue, look to what others say about you. What do people come to you for and how do you help them? What are you internal strengths that come naturally to you (not skills, but actual strengths)?
Here are a few more examples of what I'm talking about: - My son Noah is a natural-born leader. Leadership is his gift. He's the go-to for everyone in his class for opinions, planning, and sign-off of all major projects and decisions.
- My son Zachary is a deep thinker who will see a lesson in just about every situation. His wise soul is a true gift.
- My husband Jeff has inner strength that you can actually tap into when you need it (I do it all the time). And, although I jokingly call him a stoic, he's one of the most giving people you'll ever meet. That ability to give is a definite gift.
- I have a client who can connect with ANYONE and make them feel like they're the most important person in the room (even the only person in the room). This ability to make others feel special and to quickly connect deeply with them is a gift.
If you're not sure what your gifts are, start asking your friends and family. They know (and it's time you know them too).
All my best,
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