I offered you a free resource and made access to it contingent on sharing an article I wrote about self-confidence. And I heard from someone who was LIVID about this (and also unsubscribed).
This may come as a shock, but I've been a big people-pleaser much of my life. It's something I've had to work on again and again. I thought I was over it... until I started my coaching business.
For almost 2 years, I was afraid to ask people who've subscribed to this newsletter for virtually anything. I was fearful they'd get angry or that they would judge me harshly.
Although I've changed my tune, it took me 2 years to do that (which had a negative impact on my business, livelihood, and confidence levels).
For the love of all things good for you, please don't make the same mistake I did.
In my coaching, I've discovered that most people hold themselves back because of fear about what other people (or someone in particular) will think. It shows up in various ways, including:
- having a big work idea you believe in yet don't share for fear that it's too "out there" (and others might not agree with you)
- being unhappy in your career yet doing nothing about it for fear of what people will think (they might think you're nuts because of all the time, energy, and money you've invested)
- saying "yes" when you really want to say "no" to the PTA every time they ask you to lead a big event or project because you're worried some moms might get upset
The worst part of this is that holding back creates self-doubt and more fear + worry. It's a vicious cycle.
And honestly: you'll never be liked by everyone.
Are you ready to STOP holding yourself back because of worry or fear around what other people think, Friend?
There are 2 steps that will empower you to move beyond these worries so that you can do what you want (and need) for yourself more easily:
Step #1: Cultivate the Right Mentality
I want to tell you a secret: you'll always care (at least a little bit) about what other people think of you. You might even have fears that will never go away.
But you can act regardless.
The truth is, I felt nervous when I sent last week's email. Yet I did it anyway and even felt good about it.
And I had a huge knot in my stomach when I got the nasty email (and a twinge of regret - even sadness - when she unsubscribed). Although I felt some fear and disappointment, I let it go quickly and moved on.
How can you get to this place too? The answer is simple: commit becoming more mentally resilient.
Mental resilience is what allows you to be brave and act in courage. It's also what enables you to:
- be more confident in yourself and your decisions;
- deal with disappointment rationally; and
- learn from mistakes and then let go and move on.
The good news is that you CAN become more mentally resilient. All it takes is consistent practice.
You should know by now that most of my free articles and resources are geared toward how to develop a mentally resilient mind (it's also what I coach on the most). Start using these resources to your benefit. They're free, so why not?
Step #2: Live With Integrity
Living with integrity means living in a way where you feel most YOU. You're aligned with what motivates you, you meet your needs, and you feel satisfied in life.
To get this, you must:
- understand your needs and how to get them met, and then do what it takes to meet them; and
- understand your personal values, inherent strengths, and true priorities - and then honor all of them in how you behave and make decisions.
I've said this before, but it can't be understated: getting your needs met isn't selfish. When you don't meet your needs, you'll eventually become needy. That's what makes people selfish.
Honoring yourself and living in integrity makes you most satisfied and happy in life. But it's not just about you. It's what makes you your absolute best, which is what allows you to serve others to the best of your ability.
When you live in integrity, you feel good about yourself and your decisions (even the difficult ones) because you know you're doing the best you can at that moment. That's what enabled me to (1) send last week's email despite my nervousness, (2) still feel good about it after receiving a nasty email from someone who disagreed with me, and (3) let go of worrying about what she thinks of me.
What to Do Next
The free resource I offered to you last week will help you with all of this. It's not just about stress relief, but about (1) taking control of how you think, and (2) increasing your mental resilience. Once you do that, you'll be able to think more clearly (and better able to live in integrity).
I'm offering this free resource to you again without the requirement that you share my article. However, I do ask you to consider sharing it (because it's helpful to people and will help me out too).
