Dear Katelyn,

Even with the exercises you gave me, I am still feeling scary feelings and anxiety like I can’t relax or fully be myself. Or maybe now, since we talked, and you are teaching me how to notice my emotions and feelings, I’m just aware of everything where previously I would have covered it up. Indeed, now that I am leaning back and not trying to push the relationship in one direction or other, my husband is now coming forward and being sweet, checking in on me more. But I’m scared.
Have you had this happen to you? Will it pass?

Debbie

Everything you said is spot on! I know you will get through this with flying colors and I will be there every step of the way. YES! It has happened to me and still does every once in a while!

And it will pass by itself or you can cause it to pass quicker than you could ever imagine.

I am so glad you understand the value of the tools I give you, but also understand there is a learning curve. You mentioned you are having trouble, “being yourself”. My question to you is: Do you know who yourself” truly is? Would you recognize yourself if you felt her presence within you?

You have the insight and you have the courage to find out. That fear you are feeling is you trying to find you…. like you are stuck with one foot on the platform and the other on the train.

Don’t worry.

Just keep leaning back and allow yourself to feel the temporary discomfort as you let go of the inauthentic you and step into the powerful and divinely feminine and authentic you.

The best is yet to come! Count on it!

You already have a connection with horses, so your awareness has already been somewhat opened up.

Use it.

As you know, horses are perhaps one of the few creatures that ABSOLUTELY help us to see and be our most authentic, feminine selves, which invites and inspires our men to be their natural masculine selves. Certainly, horses are the most accessible creatures that are open to aiding us in finding truth.

Elephants come to mind as having similar qualities, but how many of us get to interact with them? What I am trying to say, is you are fortunate to have a creature that acts as such a perfect barometer for your “vibe” or vibrational frequencies. I wish all my clients could work with me personally with horses. The road to having great love with their men goes much quicker.

It is when you learn through our work together, how to recognize and then influence your vibe, that you can use it to naturally inspire your man.

Through my work, combined with formal education and mostly a lifetime of good and bad experiences......I have realized that when men energetically aren’t allowed to be men and when women vibrationally aren’t claiming their right to be women, when we get it all confused and tangled up, we ALL chance living unhappy and unfulfilled lives.

And it is so unnecessary.

I know that sounds confusing.

If we subscribe to the societal driven and distorted concept of male and female that we learned as kids…men: tough and hard, unemotional and impenetrable and “more” than a woman.........and women: weak, overly and dramatically emotional and “less” than a man, we AND our relationships tend to end up just as distorted. Can you see why there is not much hope for healthy partnerships if we go in with a distorted sense of self and others? Can you understand the 50% divorce rate and the other 50% infidelity rate?

SCARY ODDS!

NO! The odds can be shifted and here is how:

Deep and lasting happiness can only come from the place of balance - much like the YIN -YANG symbol in Chinese philosophy. There must be a balance in all things.

Why the heck would a woman want to be like or equal to a man? We aren’t men! And vice versa. This is a HUGE concept to bend your mind around. After all aren’t we supposed to emulate and use our male energy when we want to get things done?

We can… And I used to think that was my only option until I found that operating from my own female strength was much more powerful and way more satisfying.

I now find that women are stronger and more effective being exactly who they are as strong women.

The sad thing is that we have been programmed to actually believe being female is a flaw; unsuccessful and weak. Conversely, for a woman to strive to be more male-like is a more successful road and creates strength. I am going to dispel that myth with one short video. 

 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4hY2EcAhjY

Go ahead, watch it. You think this mare was trying to be anything but a momma here? Those other horses were all stallions. Think about it. The stallions are stronger and bigger, but this mare, who just gave birth and is physically exhausted has a power stronger than any stallion or group of stallions. She has a strong female vibe. She will not be denied.

We aren’t equal to men and neither are they to us. We are ALL unhappy (men and women) when and because we all try to be something we are not.

I remember as a young child, I could run faster, jump higher and hit a ball farther than all the other kids. I never gave the male/female thing a thought. I never gave my talent a thought. I was happy just being me. But as I got older, I became less popular and unhappier being me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I then learned the hard way that somehow, and I never quite understood that being a girl meant I was supposed to be less talented in sports, math, driving and many other things. My brother got to drive the tractor and I wasn’t allowed. He got to take the canoe on the lake by himself and I was refused even though I was a better swimmer. It got to the point where I actually began to fail…in school and in the very sports activities I used to kick-butt in. I was so unhappy being a, “weak and stupid girl.”

No one ever explained to me that I could do anything I wanted and still be female and that females had a special kind of power all their own. Somewhere along the line I became tough and emulated my boy-pals. I thought it would make me happy to be more like a boy. I still dressed like a girl and looked like a girl, but I had a body of steel and muscles to beat the band. I cursed and spit and tried as I might, I was still unhappy. It just didn’t work for me. I wanted to get back what was missing; that joy I felt as a child.

For years, I couldn’t put my finger on what was missing. I eventually realized in an aha moment, my unhappiness came from me losing my true female spirit somewhere along the line. I turned my back on my divine feminine.

What was missing was ME!

Perhaps you had a similar experience.

Or, perhaps you are doing it now in your marriage.

Have you lost your essence and yourself in your relationship like I did as a kid?

Have times changed? I think maybe a little. But even though young women are encouraged to go after their dreams even if they are, “traditionally masculine endeavors,” they aren’t often coached as to how to embrace their feminine energy while doing it. The same goes for men. Some men are happy in non-traditional roles and that is just fine.

I am not saying men and women can’t be anything they want to be. I am saying, “DO IT!”
...but do it from your authentic energy and authentic self if you want to be happy in the end.

I carried a masculine vibe well into adulthood. It showed in the men I attracted. And it showed in the success of the relationships.

I ate a lot of Ben and Jerry’s

Once I understood and came back to my feminine roots, everything changed for the better. As I am writing this, I looked out my office window and watched my man come in the back gate and into the yard. His masculine energy exudes from him as he walks. He can’t see me watching him. His energy feels like that of a Greek God. He doesn’t look like one, but in my eyes, he is all that and more.
Seeing him in his unfiltered masculine element, makes me want to be my natural feminine self around him and it shows.

When we fight? One of us is out of sync. Most often it’s me, when my old ways creep back in. So, don’t think my relationship is perfect. It isn’t. We have our struggles.

And I know what to do to get that juicy richness we all want and desire!

Let me show you the way,