| Hi Friend,
Psychologists say that 70% of us have a significant traumatic experience at least once in our lives.
I think it's more.
Did you know that trauma, whether past or present has a HUGE impact on how you communicate with one another?
Not only does trauma alter our nervous system ... in particular it messes with that part of the brain that is at the heart of our fight, flight or freeze reactions.
More importantly, these are the reactions that are at the bottom of nasty critical arguments with one another...defensiveness and stonewalling ...shutting down and walking away when the other just really wants to be heard.
This matters because according to marriage researchers, when these "BIG 3" are in your relationship or marriage and you don't do anything to fix them, you won't make it as a couple.
The human experience is loaded with trauma. Car accidents. Divorce. Job loss. Death of a loved one. Some form of childhood neglect or abuse ... and the list goes on and on.
So what can we do? The first thing to do is to get educated.
Every single one of us would be wise to learn about how trauma impacts our day to day lives ... shuts us down... sabotages us from having the experience we say we want to have in life.
That's why I'm inviting you to a "no charge" online event that my friend and colleague Richa Badami is hosting called "Freedom From Trauma".
Here you can learn from over 40 experts (as I said, I'm one of them) the exact impact trauma has on us along with tips and techniques to heal and rise above it.
It starts this Monday, Sept. 21st and rolls out over several days. When you sign up, each day of the summit you'll get access to different speakers and their wisdom for 48 hours at a time. It's super convenient. You can pick who you want to listen to AND you can listen when you want.
So, what is relational trauma?
To keep it real simple, relational trauma occurs when a person doesn't feel safe and loved in the relationship. This can be the experience a person had as a child AND/OR is now having as an adult.
Here are 5 signs you have or are experiencing relational trauma:
1. People pleasing - you will do anything and everything to keep others "happy" and will often put yourself last.
2. Perfectionism - you are so afraid of failure or being judged that everything has to be just perfect.
3. Fear of abandonment - on some level you are afraid that you are "not enough" and that either your partner will leave you or wants to leave you.
4. Self reliance - the deep seated belief that you are on your own and that you can't depend on or even ask anyone for help... not even your partner.
5. Being hyper- sensitive to the emotions of others - especially in the area of conflict. You have a "radar" for the negative emotions of others and can quickly adapt to avoid something unpleasant coming down the pipe.
If you think you suffer from any of these signs of relational trauma then I hope you'll sign up for the "Freedom From Trauma Summit" where you'll learn the latest research in this field and will learn exactly what you can do to help yourself heal from it.
See you there!
To Your Greatness
Donna Tosky www.BetweenMenAndWomen.com 1 403 455-9351
ps Don't forget, The "Freedom From Trauma" educational series it starts this Monday, Sept 21. To get access to the most up to date information, tips and techniques to get back to freedom , joy and ease click this link. See you in the summit.
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