From Nick Nilsson
Author and Publisher of BetterU News
http://www.fitness-ebooks.com


Ok, so rather than tell you that you should try and lose fat over
the holidays, I've got some tips for those who are dangerously
UNDER-weight and desperately need to fatten up in order to
prepare for their "before" pictures ;).

IMPORTANT! This information is strictly intended to be humorous!
Do not attempt these strategies unless you really, really, REALLY
feel like it.

I'll level with you...as a personal trainer, I always like to see
people put on as much weight as possible leading into New Years
Resolution season. It gives me more to work with when they come
to me to lose it. :)...heck, without holiday weight gain, I might
be out of a job!

So if you find yourself amongst those who are dangerously
underweight this holiday season (like you can still see your
feet, for example), fear not...help is on the weigh!! These tips
will help you to maximize your assets to the fullest extent
possible in the limited time you have available.


1. Nap After Every Meal

This includes breakfast. This is a favorite trick of the Sumo
wrestler. The idea is to eat as much as possible then go directly
to sleep, a time when your body doesn't use much energy and has a
greater tendency to store food as fat. Turkey and warm milk for
dessert will help you accomplish this if you're not tired enough.


2. Follow Fatty Meals With a Sugary Dessert

What's the best way to make sure that fatty food isn't wasted by
burning it off? Eat 12 sugar cookies! The sugar will help raise
your insulin levels, helping to push that fat directly into your
fat cells where it'll be safe and warm and not floating around in
your bloodstream where it'll be cold and lonely and prone to
being burned off.


3. Stay Away From Veggies

Vegetables have WAY too much fiber and nutrients in them and will
leave you feeling too full to eat enough dessert afterwards to
really maximize results. Even a good, rich dip won't be able to
compensate enough for this problem. If you love the taste of dip,
save it for the potato chips. Not only do chips have more
calories, they are shaped more like scoops than vegetables and
you'll be able to get more dip per chip.


4. Gravy is the Fifth Food Group

To really maximize your weight gain, your food pyramid should be
floating in a lake of gravy. Gravy is loaded with life-giving
energy in the form of fat and corn starch (a wonderful,
high-glycemic sugar that will help ram that fat right onto your
hips).


5. Reduce Your "Running Around Town" Levels

This is especially true when shopping for presents. You will burn
off way too many calories trying to fight the crowds at the mall
for you to effectively gain weight. Hire some neighborhood
children to fetch things for you or rent a golf cart. If you must
walk around when shopping, be sure to stop at the food court or
pretzel stand every half-hour to refuel.


6. Drink Alcohol Late At Night

Only do this if you are of legal age, of course, and never drink
and drive. Drinking is one of the best ways to increase your
unlean body mass that there is. Each gram of alcohol contains 7
calories per gram instead of the pathetic 4 calories in a gram of
regular carbohydrates. On top of that, alcohol has the added
bonus of turning off your fat burning hormones. And all of this
accomplished at night when your metabolism is at it's
slowest...what could be better??!!


7. Skip Breakfast, Have a Light Lunch and Hog Out At Dinner

By skipping breakfast and depriving your body of fuel, you will
help slow your metabolism early in the day when it normally would
be at its fastest. This will help set up your expansion plans!

The light lunch should consist mainly of sugary foods to help
skyrocket then plummet your blood sugar. This will help you to
feel much hungrier when you sit down for the big feast of the
day.

Dinner should consist of fatty meats, gravy, lots of butter, egg
nog, cookies, and something fried. If you must have a salad, save
it for last after you've finished up with your higher-calorie
selections. And be sure to cover it with enough dressing so that
you can't tell what color of food you're eating. And if you can
somehow arrange to have that salad fried, even better.


8. Save the Exercise For the New Year

Exercising will only burn off precious calories. It will also
help build muscle mass, which is a definite no-no if you want to
put on as much fat as possible. Muscle will burn up those
valuable calories that you've worked so hard to accumulate all
day long.


9. Don't Leave The Table During Holiday Get-Togethers

A great weight-gain strategy is to park yourself at the table all
day long. Let someone else clean up the breakfast dishes, wait
there for snacks to be served, start into lunch soon after that,
lie back and have a snooze (provided you've planned ahead and
pulled a recliner up to the table), then wake up in time for
dinner. This will result in a favorable lethargy-to-gluttony
ratio.


10. Start The Santa Claus Racket in Late November...

Beginning in late November, tell your children that they need to
leave milk and cookies for Santa starting early this year. When
they go to bed, drink the milk, eat the cookies. Do this every
night until mid-July...

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So those are my top ten holiday weight gain strategies...put
these into effect and I guarantee there will be more of you to
love come January 1st!

Nick

P.S. More interested in LOSING weight this holiday season? It IS
actually possible, if you have the right plan.

And that's where my friend Joel Marion comes in...he's just
re-released his "Cheat Your Way Thin" Holiday Edition book today
and has a BIG price cut on it, along with a bunch of limited-time
bonuses.


==> http://www.holidaycheatplan.com


It's VERY good stuff and he's even put together a "holiday eating
schedule" that basically lays out what to eat and when to eat it
in order to match up with the holidays, which takes all the
guesswork out of it.

Joel and I are very similar in our fat-loss diet
philosophies...you have to be pretty strict most of the time, but
you DO need to schedule in some "cheat" meals in order to keep
your metabolism going. And that's pretty much the basic idea
behind this program, targeted to the holiday season.

Check it out here and if you DO decide to pick it up, forward
your receipt to support@fitstep.com and I'll throw in a copy of
my book "The Best Fat Loss Exercises You've Never Heard Of" for
you, too (that offer is only good if you use the link in this
email, just fyi!).


==> http://www.holidaycheatplan.com


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