I hear a lot of high-vibe people complain about the people they date being passive aggressive, rude, dishonest etc.
I get that! Some people suck!
That being said, when I ask if they ever lovingly call out the offending party, or inquire further about their suspicions, or get curious, they usually say that it's not worth their time or that they “don’t want to stoop to their level” or offend them.
Hmmm…
Here’s the thing, saying nothing is NOT evolved. Letting something slide when it's important to you, or playing mum because you think it's the evolved thing to do… actually isn’t.
Look, I’ve been there and I know what it's like to play that card and feel holier than thou on the inside.
But, unfortunately, passivity does not accomplish anything. It completely contradicts what you tell me in the next breath... that your "commitment and desire in a relationship is communication”. Ahem, I call bull shit!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to say “what do you mean by that?” on a date. Or, “can you clarify?”. Or calling out, “that felt jerk-y,” only to find out that I misunderstood what someone was saying.
Or how many times I’ve had to push my clients to be vulnerable and take a conversation in a direction they normally wouldn’t dare for their own growth.
Or how many times I’ve had to ask a client, “yeah, but did you actually say that?" when they're indignantly and passionately narrating how a conversation went down. The answer is usually "no".... and then my next question is "why not?"
...and then, what if you actually said that?
"Oh I could never say that!" Or "but I was afraid I might offend them!"
That's the only difference between people who feign like they want a relationship with communication and the ones who actually communicate.
They actually say what's there for them.
Here’s the magic of being an EXAMPLE of high-vibe!
You start actually attracting high-vibe people to you…. Because you’re BEING it instead of only wanting it.
When you TRULY become the person that you want to attract, the people who can’t meet you where you are will fall away naturally... because it would be impossible for them to be around you… because, like a flashlight, you would shine light on the parts of them that don’t want to be seen and they will make like a tree and leaf!
...and in the meantime you'll actually get to practice being intimate, and vulnerable and real so that when that person comes along you'll be ready for them.
with gratitude,
Katya
