| Hey Friend, its your coach, Katya!
"I've tried everything and nothing is working"
I often hear men share this with me when it comes to their lack of success in their dating life or in relationship.
And ooof I get how frustrating it can be to feel this way!
To know that you have been efforting, putting in the work with "0" results.
...which is super confusing too because men who tell me this have the rest of their life pretty dialed in - they have great friends, their career is thriving, they have an interesting and full life...
All things they have put effort into that yielded results.
Except for love!
Why?
It's like the same amount of effort when applied to their love life often makes it worse.
That's because strategy and effort are only part of the solution when it comes to attracting a partner.
You could be taking all the right steps AND still have 0 results.
The other part is the flow that's necessary for a natural connection to occur... just the opposite of efforting.
The confidence BEHIND the actions that will either yield positive results or the lack thereof that will turn out inconsistent ones.
Finally, the equanimity that's necessary to understand that not every connection will work out the way that you desire AND that this doesn't mean you have to change.
Equanimity in Buddhism means staying calm and centered because the transience of reality is understood.
This is the critical piece that I think a lot of guys miss. They'll try something and if it doesn't work they'll try something else(much like problem-solving when working on a project).
But when it comes to attraction... the technique, the strategy might be fine... it's the delivery that might not be working.
OR
It's she that might not be interested, and accepting that might be the solution instead of trying to twist yourself around to become someone you're not.
Come back to that "take it or leave it" attitude because you know what you're worth... instead of putting MORE pressure on yourself and try to force a connection where one isn't.... then later loathing yourself for stepping out of integrity with who you really are.
What I'm saying is that if you're trying everything you're probably doing too much!
Instead, come back to your true nature... one of confidence, flow, and equanimity.
Come back to center and see what happens from there.
with gratitude,
Katya |
