Can you have both freedom and intimacy?
Lately I’ve been speaking to a lot of men who deeply value intimacy, desire intimacy at the stage of life they’re in.
At the same time, these men value their freedom! They don’t want to feel smothered in a relationship, they want to keep their independence, they want a woman who can support them AND can also give him his space!
Here’s the thing….
Contrary to popular belief, these two desires… the desire for freedom and for intimacy are not mutually exclusive!
Yes, you can have both!
...with some effort.
But here’s what’s not going to work for you… searching for a “magic woman” who’s going to read your mind about what you need and “just get it”!
Here’s why it's a losing battle…
While a man’s primary value is typically freedom, a woman’s is connection/love!
(I’m talking from a hard-wired biological standpoint...and I’m NOT saying men don’t value connection and that women don’t value freedom)
Which is one of the reasons that you’re attracted to her in the first place! Your differences create the polarity and the feeling of attraction you’re seeking!
So, if you want both freedom and intimacy, there is a way!
If you really want it you will be willing to set aside your pride, your resistance, and your fear of entrapment!
...And instead actually communicate your need for freedom in a compassionate, loving way!
Note: The bridge between freedom and intimacy is communication.
...And if you don’t know “how” you’ll learn and you’ll give it importance, and put focus into it the way you put your focus into your other ventures.
You might even be willing to be misunderstood sometimes…. and not make her wrong for it, or immediately draw the conclusion that she will never understand.
If you’re really really smart you’ll be humble and ask her to teach you… because she’s an expert at this stuff… she’s an expert at connection, remember.
You could have compassion for her experience and your differences.
And if you’re really desiring of “amour” you possibly might will yourself to compromise, or even look deeper and question your resistance and your fear!
You may even let go of the fear of being consumed whole by love!
...Because true intimacy, and true love won’t suffocate you, it will free you of your own shackles while shedding light on what you’ve been desiring all along.
If you desire to have a love that is both free and intimate >> apply for an attraction assessment session << and let's get started!
with gratitude,
Katya |
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