There is secret battle that many men wage….
It’s a war that you won’t find being discussed in the news.
It’s a battle within.
And it sets him on a course…
That will ultimately define him
For better or for worse
Not every man wages this war…
But with the growing diversity in our rising population
Many men are
The battle is one with himself
He was raised to think that he should be the provider
And often he is
He has success
He has power
He conquers
He leads
Yet there's another side of him
He was raised by a caretaker
And he’s always been one
He admonishes this quality about himself
He thinks it isn’t masculine
He hides his aptitude for vulnerability
But there it is
Right there
In every relationship
He feels deeply
He’s a great Father
He’s a great Partner
When he goes out to find a partner
He seeks out powerful women
Strong women
Dominant women
He does this unconsciously
In fact, they find him
But then he rejects this dynamic
Because our society and culture tells him
That his partner “should” be everything
That he already is
So he goes out looking for the same qualities that he brings
Yet he can never attract
Because he’s not attracted
Because he seeks something that feels different
Complimentary
So he goes out, again
And, again, attracts what he truly wants
But won’t give himself permission to have
A headstrong woman
Again, he resists her power
Her assertiveness
She should feel different
He lies to himself, telling himself that he keeps ending up
With these dominant women
Because he’s too shy to go after the ones he wants
He fights himself thinking that he needs to be the macho guy in the center of the room
Outgoing, striking, and the center of attention
But that’s just not who he is.
No, he wants to give his gifts in his own way
He desires to bask in the glow of his fiery woman’s power
She’s the one that provides him with the dynamic that he craves
But he is awakening
And owning who he really is
The emotional leader that he is
He realizes that he can still lead
No doubt he can lead
But not in the context that the stereotype has convinced him
Of who he’s supposed to be all these years
He feels deeply
He is human
He is a lover
He is man
with gratitude,
Katya
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