: Chimera :
(in Greek mythology) a fire-breathing female monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail.
a thing that is hoped or wished for but in fact is illusory or impossible to achieve.
Is our search for the perfect relationship, in fact, misguided?
Is the search for a perfect person a figment of our childhood fantasies, a reaction to our previous hurts, and a form of escape from our current reality?
Or is it a genuine quest for something “true”?
...and what is "true" anyway?
What if the perfect person doesn’t actually exist?
What could we look for instead?
In my book, the perfect person is, in fact, a chimera.
An illusion.
I think it is something we have been conditioned to believe through fairy tales, cultural and social norms, and with our quickly shifting values around the purpose of marriage and partnership.
I think it gives us hope.
...and we cling to that hope as a form of relief.
Relief from our human suffering.
Relief from not having / being enough.
Relief from the present moment that never seems to satisfy.
Relief from our loneliness.
Maybe you’re thinking… “damn Katya, this shiz is depressing”
...And that’s cool. I feel you.
But I’m also not here to blow smoke up your arse.
How about this?
I’m not saying that we should lose “hope”.
Hope is beautiful and necessary.
What I am wondering is this…
How can we trade our illusions for reality?
...and is it possible that by doing so we could have more inner peace, and by proxy attract better people and have healthier relationships?
What if we…
Related to a potential partner as a human and not our saviour.
Could we focus on OUR OWN reactions MORE and learn from them instead of focusing on how others are REACTING.
Understood that that it is our responsibility to communicate our values, needs and desires and actually listen to find out if they’re a match with a potential partner.
Realize that the object of our affection isn’t here to continuously soothe our insecurities, read our mind or appease our every whim.
Could understand that their superficial qualities and initial presentation “does not a person make”... and that it is our task to look and delve deeper.
Instead of asking for patience from another… we demonstrated it first.
I wonder if this might take the edge off a bit…
And ease the pressure off of a journey that is already so precarious and nuanced.
Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you think the perfect partner/relationship exists? What are you looking for in partner/relationship?
With gratitude,
Katya
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