I don’t know about you, but I can hardly believe what I’ve seen and heard leading up to this election.
Intensely controversial characters…
Dramatically different behaviors…
Strangely similar scripts…
Two conspicuously opposite potential outcomes…
It’s a proverbial choose-your-own adventure moment for voters, where at the end of this chapter:
- one choice leads to a chapter of freedom, and the other to oppression like we may have never experienced in our lifetime
- one choice leads to a chapter with a prosperous future for our children, and the other to struggle for survival on almost every front
- one choice leads to a chapter of the fulfillment of everything our forefathers envisioned, and the other to the undermining of every principle upon which our government of, for, and by the people was built
Still don’t know which side I’m on?
Good.
That’s not my point.
It never was.
My point is to remind everyone I know that YOU are Worthy of Truth.
And I don’t just mean the Truth Itself… but the wrestling match required to find and choose It for yourself.
If my experience in the classical training model proved anything to me, it was this:
A STORY isn’t really yours,
and of any real value to you,
until you USE ALL OF YOUR FACULTIES
to explore, engage, and eventually embody
the one that you find to be the truest.
So far, I’ve shared some of the principles and skills I learned from the classical training model that initially rocked my STORY. And if you haven’t noticed, they’ve all been INTELLECTUAL. - asking “What if it’s not true?” and being willing to let go of what you think you know (and who you think you are) in your search for the Truth (part 1)
- cataloging what you know to be true by your own firsthand experience, yet being willing to re-label some or all of it in light of new information and insights (part 2)
- considering the possibility that sources can be fallible, untrustworthy, or at least insufficient (part 2)
- researching Author Intention and Context when reading or listening to sources, understanding there is necessarily both explicit intention and unconscious bias at play when anyone is FINDING, EXPLORING, KILLING, SCRIPTING, or SPEAKING a story (part 3)
- digging for and Personally Reviewing Firsthand Accounts, Evidence, and Properly-managed Records—yes, that means watching and listening to FULL interviews, press conferences, and rallies instead of just clips that can be used out of context to make the other side look terrible (part 4)
- engaging Opposing Perspectives and Devil’s Advocates, honestly looking for ways to confirm, adapt, or expand your current narrative into a truer one (part 5)
But remember what I said in the first two parts—how I was fortunate to know that some of what I believed was absolutely true by experience while also admitting there were parts of the narrative that simply didn’t seem true… didn’t lead to the outcomes promised or imagined?
That wasn’t INTELLECTUAL at all.
That was me resourcing from the realm of INSTINCT and INTUITION—
two parts of us that do not get nurtured properly in our culture.
In fact, I think it’s safe to say that these are the first parts of us to be ignored, devalued, overridden, or even extinguished in the name of convenience or comfort.
That four-year-old question “Why?” inevitably being met with “Because I said so!” is an example of ignoring, devaluing, and overriding a natural instinct to explore and expand the map of knowledge. All because we don’t have a good answer or just need the child to shut up so we can complete a task more easily.
Or how about those moments in which a child is feeling wary of an individual, unsafe even, yet the child is pressured to speak to or give them a hug or sit on their lap?
Yep, it’s very easy for a well-intentioned adult to accidentally teach a child that their INSTINCT and INTUITIONS are not worth anyone’s attention or time.
And then this experience makes it extremely convenient for ill-intentioned authorities to enforce their narratives in every other system that child interacts with from then on.
When we learn that voicing our
INSTINCT and INTUITION
gets us ignored, yelled at, or worse,
we inevitably learn to treat those faculties
the same exact way.
How many of us stopped asking questions because we didn’t want to rock the proverbial boat of everyone else’s peace?
And how many of us got so good at ignoring all of the red flags and blaring sirens in the face of deception and danger, that we almost lost access to our innate INSTINCT and INTUITION?
Until one day, our depression forces us to get curious… or our desperation forces us to realize that our INSTINCT and INTUITION were right all along... and we better do something about it really quick.
I’ll never forget the day someone handed me the EVIDENCE that proved my INSTINCT and INTUITION about a particular person from my childhood had been absolutely right on. Decades of dismissals of my feelings and questions were redeemed in an instant when I realized some part of me had known the truth my entire life, and that I could actually trust my INSTINCT and INTUITION far more than anyone had ever allowed me.
And so, I’ve thought a lot about HOW to re-access and re-build trust in these senses, and here are some of the insights, principles, and skills that have helped me do it.
Our INSTINCT and INTUITION are capacities that rely on signals in the nervous system, so...
It’s important to understand that our nervous system is designed to keep us safe from physical and social danger, and it does this by constantly scanning our environment for disruptions (or glitches in our well-patterned Matrix of perceived safety).
Since this is all usually happening beneath our awareness, it helps to know WHAT to start giving conscious attention to when we have a feeling that something is off.
Incongruence in Posture, Expression, Voice/Tone, Energy. One thing that helped me rebuild trust in my own “spidey” senses was listening to body language experts share what they see when someone speaks in a debate, press conference, interview, or even on a witness stand. One of these experts used the term “sing” to describe the energetic congruence of a person who is telling the truth, evidenced by their posture, expression, voice/tone, and words all aligning with each other.
They pointed out deception by showing how a head shook when someone was answering affirmatively, or how their eyes shifted in a direction other than where they store their memory when reporting “facts”, and so much more. It’s fascinating!
And you don’t have to be an expert to see these things. You’re physiologically wired to identify the “tells” that someone is lying or trying to manipulate you; and if you relax and pay attention to all of these aspects of them via all of your senses, you’ll get a feeling about whether they’re telling the truth or not.
Presumptive Language. You know how you feel when a salesperson says, “When you buy this…” before you’ve decided? That presumption of your intentions and future action just feels… icky, right? Then add the knowledge that this is a TRICK they practice to compel you to purchase, and it’s really upsetting. These little tricks remind me of conferences I’ve been to, where I once met a man who said he makes millions of dollars every year by writing scripts for gurus that guarantee six-figure days. “The audience doesn’t even know that we’re making it impossible for them to leave without pulling out their wallet.” Gross!
In all the great stories you’ve watched, isn’t it true that one of the deep needs villains always play to is the one for belonging? Don’t they do this with a very “Us versus Them” approach that assumes they/we have the right answer and YOU should agree and join them?
“Join me and we will save/rule the world.”
It's not just a cliché. It’s a tactic… and a tell. And sadly, it’s one I’m watching run amok in the media this election cycle.
In my experience, the “bad guys” tend to use words instrumentally—to get you to do something—and might even call your red flags and sirens big feelings instead of knowings, while the “good guys” respect you enough to invite you to think for yourself, share your opinion, make your own decisions, and even learn your own lessons.
Words, Behaviors, and Track Records. Having been betrayed by a lot of leaders I really believed had my best at heart, and realizing that my instincts and intuitions had been manipulated by their beautiful words, I became wary of stepping into spaces with other leaders. Eventually, I learned to vet their integrity, not by what they said, but by what they did… and by what the people closest to them said about them. They only earned my respect when I caught them speaking to and treating people with love and respect when their audience wasn’t watching. When I saw them taking the same risks they’d encouraged me to take, and heard them speak their unpopular truth after they’d suggested I do the same, they earned my trust by living by their own words.
“By their fruit (the results of their actions, not their words), you will know them.”
Relationships. Remember that saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with”? Well, whether you call it co-regulation or peer pressure, I think it’s safe to say that we are influenced and even shaped by the intentions, words, and behaviors of those around us. This is another way I’ve vetted the integrity of leaders. Do they surround themselves, or are they endorsed by, people who actively contribute to the well-being or advancement of humanity, or just talk about it?
Serves Essences versus Commodities. If you spend any time in business, and especially in sales and marketing, you know how easy it is to slip into the habit of commodifying humans and our relationships with them. When profit margins align themselves with some policies and not others, this becomes an issue on the political landscape as well. My vote will always be for the candidate and policies that support and expand the essence and essential well-being of individual humans instead of using humanity to grow their personal influence or profits.
And if you forget all of this,
just remember to...
Take a deep breath, connect with every single physical and intuitive sense you have, and then ask:
Is this person an imperfect hero or a true villain?
Stripped of everything I’ve heard anyone else say about them, how do I feel when I watch and listen to them?
Do they make my insides HUM WITH RESONANCE
or WIGGLE WITH INCONGRUENCE?
I believe in you and all of your God-given faculties.
I know that if you press pause on all the noise and narratives that are being hurled at you, and you ask the questions I’ve posed in all of these parts, the Truth will set us all free.
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