| “Hi, how are you today?” I asked, glancing up at the older gentleman and then down at the belt full of his groceries. It was the end of my shift and my body and mind were tired.
“I’m… okay. You?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m okay, too,” I responded with a smile, still focused on my task of scanning and bagging his groceries… and not making too many mistakes.
“Look at me!” I looked up and around for the source of the voice.
Strange, I thought to myself. I don’t see any kids around here.
As I bagged the final items -- wine, ice cream, and donuts -- I jested as I do with most of my customers: “Looks like a good evening at your place tonight…”
“These are my isolation comforts. Maybe too many tonight, but…” His sad voice trailed off.
Immediately, I knew that the voice I’d heard scream “Look at me!” was his. I stopped what I was doing and looked up into the sad eyes of a lonely soul.
Searching his eyes and my soul for a worthy response, I replied, “Well, in these crazy times, I think a lot of us are taking home too many comforts. There’s more sugar, alcohol, and salt coming through than I remember this time last year. But it must be excruciating for people who are living on their own right now…”
“It is… hard…” As the words escaped his lips, I saw his whole body relax into the experience of being (really) seen.
“Well, I wish I could offer more than my hope and prayer that this will all come to an end soon,” I said as I lifted his bag up and smiled again.
“Thank you, Amanda,” he said as he picked up his bag and walked out.
As I cleaned the space and quietly prayed for the lonely man, my mind flashed on a memory from more than a decade ago.
I was in the kitchen, trying not to burn our dinner, when three-year-old Aaron asked me a question and I gave him a distracted answer. “No! Mom! Look at me!” he yelled as he pulled on the bottom of my shirt.
I looked down into the watery eyes of my son, who clearly needed my focused attention more than the answer to a question.
As I put the cleaning supplies back, I chastised myself, Amanda, your word for this year was “Presence.” That means pausing to be with and see people, even when you’re tasking. Ugh. When are you ever going to get this?
My ego immediately retrieved enough guilt and regret ammo to take me down for the rest of the day.
Just then, Grace intervened.
“Hi, Amanda. How are you today?” a regular customer stepped into my line.
“I’m doing alright. You?” I asked, making a point to look the nice young lady in the eyes. She smiled and relaxed from her hurried approach and engaged in a conversation about the holidays as I bagged her groceries.
After I wished her a good day and handed her the last bag of groceries, I gently corrected myself. All I have is the present moment to practice presence… and grace for all of my missed opportunities and mis-steps.
My holiday wish for you...
As we approach the end of the craziest year most of us have ever lived through, I wish you moments of Presence and Grace… in every direction:
May you know the relief of being deeply seen and heard by those around you
May you know the joy of being fully present with others and watching them relax
May you feel the grace of letting yourself off the hook for all of the missed opportunities and mis-steps
May the gifts of Presence and Grace warm your hearts and your tummies because I actually have nothing against a little extra salt and sugar. :)
Grounded By Grace,
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| | Founder, True to Intention
Smart-Mouthed Seeker | Unapologetic Story Junkie | Message Oracle | Messenger Guide
Mom | Wife | Friend | Witness to Divine Intention through Story
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