| “I’m just so freaking proud of you,” I whispered to him as a single tear dripped down my cheek.
Glancing over at the daybed in my office where he was perched and working, I saw him smile and tilt his head to let me know that he had no idea what had inspired my emotional celebration.
“I just listened to the audio you recorded for the podcast…”
He scrunched his forehead, clearly not understanding why that would elicit such a reaction.
“Your voice. It’s so clear and powerful. Confident…” I paused, searching for a way to help him understand. “It’s like when you watch the Olympics and you see someone do something incredible that they were CLEARLY MADE TO DO…” I took a deep breath. “You are clearly made to use your voice and, at seventeen, you’re already so solid and confident with it.”
Smiling broadly, he nodded that he understood and resonated with what I see for him.
When he left the room to get his lunch, I shook my head and let my mind wander to another time where I’d celebrated the power of his voice...
*****
He was probably eleven or twelve at the time.
We had a mutual agreement in our family to not touch or move each other’s items without asking first. It might sound crazy but that’s only because what you don’t know is that we were living with a gramma who felt that it was her God-given right to move our stuff where she thought it belonged and we often spent waaaaaay too much time searching for it all.
Anyway, on this particular day, we had our extended family over for a pool party and everyone was HANGRY. I was ready to order online and noticed Aaron’s laptop on the counter. I shouldn’t… but it will only take me a minute… As soon as I opened it, I heard his voice, “Mom, what are you doing?”
Caught, I stuttered the way a child does when they’re found doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing. “I… uh…”
“Mom, I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t touch each other’s stuff without asking…”
One of my family members standing nearby visibly bristled at his admonishment.
I know. Most parents don’t invite their children to hold them accountable. Must be hard to understand for the “because I said so” types.
“We did. I’m sorry, bud. I’ll go upstairs and get mine.” I closed his computer, kissed him on the cheek, smiled at the clearly-confused family member, and hurried upstairs.
He followed me, watched me finish the order, and just waited, apparently hoping to conclude the conversation.
Who is the parent here? I wondered.
“So…?” he started.
“I was stressed and in a hurry to get everyone some food. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did.” He nodded at me, and I said, “You know, some moms would be really concerned and wonder what their kids might be hiding in their---”
He didn’t even let me finish. “Mom, I’m not hiding anything. I’m happy to open it up and show you anytime you ask. You just broke an agreement.”
“Yeah, I am sorry.”
“And I accept your apology,” he said before kissing me on the forehead and darting back downstairs to the pool.
As soon as he was out of sight, I broke into a little happy mommy dance.
My kid knows how to set and lovingly hold boundaries at twelve! That’s a new story for our DNA! Maybe someday I'll be able to do that too!
*****
Grabbing a tissue to dry my tears, I understood the deeper reason I was so emotional.
He has a connection to his power and his voice that I have had to fight to reclaim. Even if I’m not able to fully reclaim it in this lifetime, there is a new story for our family emerging through him.
I thought about all the times I've witnessed others and myself bristle at the sound of his voice and loving accountability. He’s called me out -- I mean, helped me to see a lot of the patterns that don’t serve me or anyone else.
It’s not easy to have a light shown on a dark place, especially when it’s dark because
there is a tender wound hiding in there.
Yet this is our duty as parents and change agents -- as elders in a society that clearly needs to learn how to confront and defeat darkness from the inside-out.
We have to help them create a new way,
even if our own neural pathways resist it.
We have to help them create a new way,
even if it sheds light on our darkness.
We have to help them create a new way,
even if they surpass us.
Surpass us…
How does that feel?
Isn’t it so conflicting?
The part of us that knows we’re here to create new pathways FEELS SATISFIED and even CELEBRATES when the people we love and lead go further.
But let’s be honest, it’s not easy to watch someone surpass us.
I think this is because when they do, they set a new standard that sheds more light on those dark places and calls us to higher levels of consciousness and deeper levels of healing.
As a mom and as a guide, I have spent many years training myself to celebrate and relish these moments for two reasons:
We can all rise and go further faster when someone raises the bar with love.
If I stop doing the work while I’m facilitating it for others, I won’t be able to live with feelings of fraudulence or, worse, the resentment of watching others experience freedom and joy that feels out of my reach.
Being a Waymaker is one of the greatest honors and blessings we can experience in this lifetime, but it can also be one of the most challenging roles we can choose.
If you’re a waymaker in your world, I encourage you to listen to the voice of Grace that is whispering an important message to all of us right now:
I see you... ...making new pathways possible, despite your wounds. ... sacrificing so much to do what you have been called to do.
I feel your... ...fatigue and regular bouts of loneliness. ...unsettled and even threatened self when they surpass you.
I believe in you... Your feelings are human. Your response can be divine. Stay honest. Lean into Me. Do the work.
Relish the results as much as you can.
p.s. If you are feeling called to be a Waymaker at a whole new level, but feel unsure or stuck, I want to invite you to see what's emerging to support you here at True To Intention and the new community platform CocoonU.
p.p.s. Stay tuned for my Birthday Launch email! We're about to co-author a new world together and I'm so excited! |
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| | | Plus, we are working on a new community platform called CocoonU to deliver all of our quests and programs in a more streamlined manner, deepen relationships through more engagement, and facilitate alliances between change agents who would move faster if they worked together.
It's going to be so fun! Take a look and come on over to join us!
We'll be building this for a while, but you can hop in, take a look around, and start connecting with others in the community.
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| | | Here is a little more information for those of you who have been inspired to contribute a story, message, new paradigm or solution, coaching business, or ______ to our world. |
| | This workshop is for any aspiring or seasoned change agent who needs a little more:
- Clarity
[What is it exactly that I am inspired to share?]
- Capacity
[What strategy, info, skills, etc. do I need to make this happen?]
- Community
[Who is going to help me, cuz I don’t want to do this alone?]
This will be a virtual event, and I’m excited to share that my son is going to help me facilitate at least one section of it. He adds serious levels of fun to clarity and transformation!
And there’s a “Bring a Friend for Free” option, so you can make this a belated Christmas gift or share the cost with someone in your life who is also here to change the world.
Click HERE to learn more.
Let's bring the Grace together... |
| | Founder, True to Intention
Smart-Mouthed Seeker | Unapologetic Story Junkie | Message Oracle | Messenger Guide
Mom | Wife | Friend | Witness to Divine Intention through Story
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