| “Hello, crazy sister of mine working on New Year’s Day…”
Her text made me smile and cringe just a little as I looked at the dining room table covered in notes and to-do lists.
“You can’t prove any of that,” I shot back quickly.
“Oh, my Gmail inbox certainly can,” she replied.
“It’s a New Year’s tradition. Breaking all of my resolutions on Day #1. I’ll do better tomorrow.”
Instead of scolding me, my also highly-productive sister sent me a gif that made me spit my coffee out: “This is very impressive.”
“You’re welcome,” I played. “Setting the bar high this year.”
And of course, she finished the convo with a gif of someone bowing in awe.
What she didn’t know is that I didn’t set any New Year’s Resolutions this year…
I’m tired of Resolutions… I want Results…
And I did something crazy last year that actually created results WITHOUT all of the drama.
I sat down with my family and we all wrote down three things:
1) What we were leaving behind in the previous year: bad habits, limiting beliefs, old stories and scripts, etc.
2) What we were bringing WITH us from the previous year: wonderful memories with loved ones, achievements, magical moments of being supported
3) What we wanted MORE of in the next year: More hand-holding (less phone-holding). More time in nature (less time sitting). More truth-telling (less preventing and fixing).
And then we folded them up, packed them away in our Christmas stockings, forgot all about them, and continued living our lives.
This Christmas, guess what we found at the bottom of our stockings! And all three of us shook our heads in awe that most of our lists had become realities in our lives over the last year, even during the wildest year to date.
How did this happen?
Don’t you have to write down all of your goals and post them up where you can see them? Don’t you need to create a vision board
that inspires and reminds you every day? Don’t you have to write your goals down daily?
I guess not!
Let me be clear. I’m actually NOT saying that any of those practices are wrong or bad or dumb or useless. I’ve actually used ALL of those practices and others to create real results in my life.
So, how did it happen when I didn’t do any of that?
Here are some possible reasons that I’m tossing around, and I’d love to hear if any of this resonates with you:
1) Clarity about what’s NOT working or serving our highest good is important. That little bit of reflection we spent on habits, beliefs, and scripts that don’t work was also a time of increased awareness and decision-making.
2) Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations from which we can imagine our future experiences. We were marinating our dreams in the chemical cocktail of Gratitude, imagining what it would be like to experience all of it. Maybe our nervous systems associated those feelings with those images, making us feel in a way like we were already enjoying them.
3) “More” and “Less” do not hold as much judgment as goals and resolutions do. I don’t know about you, but in the past, all of my goals and resolutions have been crafted in direct opposition to who I was and how I was behaving, feeling, and thinking. While designing a better future, I was telling my current self and life experience that none of it was good enough.
“Lose 30 pounds” was really my way of saying
“I hate this fat and how it makes me feel.”
“Make $_______ goal this year” was birthed from a complaint
that “I didn’t have enough to _____ this year.”
“Go on at least one vacation” was code for
“You are a workaholic who is going to lose everything if you don’t stop.”
So, when I shifted the language to “more” and “less,” there was no initiation of internal resistance. I wasn’t passive-aggressively telling my DARK CHOCOLATE LOVER that she sucks and has to be deprived of all pleasure so that I could reach a weight goal. I wasn’t shaming my CEO for not providing for all of my needs and desires. I wasn’t humiliating my HIGH-PERFORMER for loving her work so much that sometimes it’s hard to stop.
Instead of putting all of those parts of me on the defensive (you know how they fight back!), I INVITED THEM TO MORE… energy, vitality, abundance, and connection.
4) “More” and “Less” kept me focused on all of the “little” things that actually create the “big results.” Hand-holding (or hugging) seems like a silly and small goal for a year, but a daily habit of it deepens our connection with those we love over the course of that year. More time in nature turns into regular walks and trips to the beach and, wait for it, increased vitality and stamina which led to releasing some pounds.
5) Forgetting about it translated as trusting myself and my innate drive and commitment to bring more of me to the world every day AND my Co-Author to insert the allies and resources I’d need to achieve it all along the way. That joke with my sister was no joke at all. I wonder if when we make these grand (and judgment-filled) commitments to ourselves, and then consistently fail to meet the maybe-too-much-of-a-stretch standards we’ve set for ourselves, we actually hurt our relationship with ourselves. In other relationships, wouldn’t you rather have someone make a “smaller more/less commitment to you” and keep it than make a grandiose pledge to completely change and fail you miserably and often?
Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm trying it again this year!
Wanna join me?
MORE for True To Intention and YOU in 2021!
We're almost ready to launch the new website. I'm so grateful that my little sister is so damn talented AND patient with my creative process. There is so much LOVE in this website. I can't wait to hear your thoughts!
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| | | Plus, we are working on a new community platform called CocoonU to deliver all of our quests and programs in a more streamlined manner, deepen relationships through more engagement, and facilitate alliances between change agents who would move faster if they worked together.
It's going to be so fun! Take a look! |
| | | I've also decided to offer a NEW 2-day workshop in January for those of you who have been inspired to contribute a story, message, new paradigm or solution, coaching business, or ______ to our world. |
| | This workshop is for any aspiring or seasoned change agent who needs a little more:
- Clarity
[What is it exactly that I am inspired to share?]
- Capacity
[What strategy, info, skills, etc. do I need to make this happen?]
- Community
[Who is going to help me, cuz I don’t want to do this alone?]
This will be a virtual event, and I’m excited to share that my son is going to help me facilitate at least one section of it. He adds serious levels of fun to clarity and transformation!
And there’s a “Bring a Friend for Free” option, so you can make this a belated Christmas gift or share the cost with someone in your life who is also here to change the world.
Let's bring the Grace together...
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| | Founder, True to Intention
Smart-Mouthed Seeker | Unapologetic Story Junkie | Message Oracle | Messenger Guide
Mom | Wife | Friend | Witness to Divine Intention through Story
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