“Hey, how are you today?” I asked a team member at Whole Foods while we were both waiting for customers.
“Anxious. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Pretty much my regular life right now.” She looked at the ground, clearly fighting back tears.
“I’m sorry…” I started but was interrupted by my supervisor asking me to do a cart run. I gave my team member a compassionate glance, got all of the gear I needed, and headed out the door.
That’s when it happened -- the same thing that always happens when I step out of the store: Gratitude exploded in my chest and made my entire body tingle and I whispered the words, “Thank you.”
Wow, even after two years… I thought as I scanned the parking lot for carts. Those first two months at this store were so overwhelmingly full of magical moments and challenging learning curves that my body literally feels all of that every time I step out of these doors, even after an extremely challenging shift. This is what she needs -- some awe-inspiring moments that remind her body how she wants to feel. I said a quiet prayer for her and made a note to share this story with her when I got back into the store.
Unfortunately, her shift and ended, and I was unable to make another connection with her until the next day we both worked together.
When I asked her how she was, she said, “I’m feeling a little better today. I realized that last month was full of a lot of connection with friends -- calls, texts, etc. And then, suddenly, everyone was swept away by holiday stuff, and I’m feeling the withdrawals. Serotonin, right?”
I smiled, thinking it was probably more oxytocin but that wasn’t really as important as what she was trying to get at.
She continued, “I guess just the awareness of what’s happening helps to alleviate some of the suffering…”
“Yes, I agree. Awareness helps a lot. Are you doing other things to try to boost those happy neurotransmitters?” I asked, trying to be supportive during a very quiet morning at the store.
She looked at me sideways, and I continued, “Are there other specific activities -- like texting or talking with friends -- that help you feel those good feelings? Maybe being in nature? Or spending time playing with your little one? One of my clients is an expert in mindfulness and talks about the importance of cultivating those elevated emotions through different activities and practices…”
We talked for several minutes about what she loves to do and how she might be able to add a little more of those activities into her daily routine before we were interrupted again for another cart run.
This time, in addition to feeling the gratitude explode in my chest, I found more than $1 in change in the back of the parking lot.
“Thank you,” I said out loud and felt the gratitude reverberate in my chest as I remembered Greg Kuhn’s story that he’d shared on stage a few years back.
[Obviously, this is my recollection of his story,
so the details are likely not exact.]
He’d shared that during a time where he was facing financial disaster and other serious challenges in his life, he began to intentionally cultivate gratitude after discovering some science that explained that we attract more of what we want when we’re feeling grateful, not panicked. One of the ways he did this was to look for pennies on the ground -- training his mind to look for money and blessings. And when he found them, he celebrated them and expressed heartfelt gratitude. It wasn’t long before this practice began to help him turn his energy and his circumstances around. Today, he’s a successful author helping others create the life they want.
Oooh yeah, this practice has definitely helped me stay in gratitude during some very financially scary times since I heard that story. I’m gonna have to share this one with her…
***
Grounding Your Grace for 2021
I know this is the time of year where we all set those big goals for the next one, and sometimes beat ourselves up for not achieving the goals we set for the last one.
But what if we just shifted our attention to
ALL OF THE GOOD STUFF
that happened this year?
“What are you talking about, Amanda? Have you seen what’s happened this year?”
Yeah, I know. So much of it has sucked. The pandemic. The fear. The loss of loved ones and small businesses. The social injustice. The crazy election. It's true that all of this, plus the distancing and the masks hiding smiles/expressions, have done a serious number on our mind and bodies.
But I bet there’s at least one thing
you can be proud of or grateful for --
something that you could bring alive in your memory
and really feel all of the delicious feelings again.
- Maybe it was that first Zoom call with your family/friends when you finally got to see each other’s faces and catch up and laugh or cry together.
- Maybe it was the loving outreach of a friend through text or phone.
- Maybe it was the additional time you had to snuggle and really get to know your kids.
- Maybe it was the birth of a grandbaby or a new creative endeavor.
- Maybe it was the first hug you received when things began to open up.
- Maybe it was a proud moment of completing a project.
- Maybe it was an acknowledgment or expression of gratitude from someone you serve.
Whatever it was, I want to invite you to:
Call up the memory and put yourself back in it.
Using all of your senses, remember what was happening in your body as the delicious feelings coursed through it. Were you seeing the face of a loved one? Were you feeling the warmth of a hug? Were you listening to the sound of an ally’s voice? Were you smelling or tasting something delicious during all of this?
And now, just marinate in those feelings.
Name them: gratitude, hope, love, compassion, relief, safety, etc.
Watch them fill your entire body and increase the vitality of every system in it.
Expand the feelings out to the world around you as far as you can imagine it.
Say a quiet prayer that others will be able to experience these yummy feelings as well.
And then stay there a little longer…
And a little longer…
And a just a bit longer…
And when you feel tingly and overflowing with that feeling, make a commitment to do that for yourself at least once every day and shift your emotional setpoint from wherever it’s been to where you know it can be.
Which feeling are you going to
cultivate and expand in 2021?
*****
Sneak Peek: True To Intention in 2021!
Did you notice the new tagline at the top of this email?
It's the first of many changes you will see rolling out in 2021.
While I've been working specifically with messengers [aspiring authors, speakers, and coaches] for the last 13 years, I've also been witnessing profound healing in their personal stories and the collective stories they impact -- family, workplace, industry, broken systems, etc. It's the most meaningful and fulfilling part of this work, and I've had dozens of people say, "Amanda, I am not interested in being a messenger, but I could really use the st*ry-healing work. Is there a way for me to do that?"
To support these requests, over the last few years, I've been articulating and experimenting with a new body of st*ry-healing work in the form of quests and retreats; and it's time to bring that work to the forefront of my brand.
In January, you will be invited to explore a new website that captures this expansion. Check it out!
