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| Hi Friend,
It sounds crazy, but believe it or not, many people are limiting their level of joy. Yes, many have a low tolerance of joy. You might think, why, who would do that? Who doesnât want more happiness and joy? The reason why we donât have more happiness and joy is because we havenât intentionally chosen it or allowed ourselves to develop it.
I have learned over the years, that our capacity for joy is limited by the direct inverse depth of our sorrows. To the depth of our sorrows, is the height of our joys. We are so scared to go too deep in sorrows because it might be too painful or unbearable, therefore the height of our joy is equal to the shallowness of our sorrows. It is like living in our narrow and limited emotional range. Up a little, down a little. Up a little, down a little. You see that limitation when people refuse to âtalkâ about themselves or their problems, donât want to be vulnerable, they donât take risks, scared of change, donât try new things, holding back, hold onto fears, being critical, and just focusing on what is wrong with the world. They donât have happy solutions to any of these problems because they are not happy themselves.
Our core belief and mindset that we need to operate from for more joy, is âI am a victor-and-everything-is-solvable-with-Godâs-helpâ mentality. Believe that our heart is strong enough even if it breaks, it can be mended. We are asked to come to God with a âbroken heartâ and âcontrite spirit.â1 and he will help us mend it. Our heart will be stronger and more capable of love, empathy, joy, peace and charity. We will never be tried beyond our ability to withstand, so donât hide from trials.
This is one of the reasons why I allow my children to experience some discomforts on their own. I seek for divine guidance to know when to help and when not to help. I want my children to learn resilience and responsibility. I know, just like me, they will find solutions with Godâs help. When God is in our heart, we will find solutions to any concern.
For example, when a child forgets to do her homework, remembers the last minute, and needs to stay up late to finish it, I donât jump in, take it upon myself to do it for her. Sometimes I sit by her and cheer her on but still allow her to feel frustrated, disappointed, tired and worried. The homework or grade will not matter in 5 or 10 years, but the lesson of being responsible and resilient will last forever. When my children come to me distraught by something, I help her explore her emotions. I sit with her and allow her to cry it out. To help, I ask her questions to help her explore the very core beliefs that is causing her discomfort. I may ask questions like these: âWhat else are you feeling?â Help give words and labels to the energy of feelings within. Frustrated, disappointed, tired, worried etc. âWhy do you feel that way?â Help them go down to the thinking and processing levels. âHow important is it that you are (liked, loved, accepted, valuedâŚetc.) by others?â âWhat measure are you measuring your worth/standards by?â Sometimes we discover our false beliefs are subconsciously adopted from society. âWhat are your beliefs about that?â Help them think about what they currently believe. They may have two or more conflicting beliefs. âIs there a better belief to adopt?â Help them intentionally choose the more enlightened and divinely inspired belief(s).
Experiencing the pain is one side of the spectrum, we need to learn how to develop the other side too for greater joy. In order to strengthen and internalize the new belief that we chosen, of having greater joy, peace, and happiness, we need to take some actions.
Essential oils for trusting yourself and others and allowing greater joy: Peace, Geranium, Rose, Ylang Ylang, Roman Chamomile
My friend, we can be happy when we connect to God. With divine downloads we can confidently focus on developing the true peace, joy and happiness. Guess what, when we focus on joy, happiness, and peace, we actually get it! God wants us to be happy so we need to practice happy now. God will help with the âhow toâs,â we just need to be clear on the âwhat.â
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