It's a long one...from the heart. View this email online if it doesn't display correctly |
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A personal note from Audrey |
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After what has felt like a very long time, today I really wanted to get in touch and say 'hi'. I've written more than I normally write and it all still feels a bit raw so please bear with me...
Some of you may already know that after a courageous battle with leukaemia, my Dad passed away in June. While it's been a time of grieving, tears and dealing with the realities of life and death, we've also shared many heart-warming moments, laughter and much love in my family.
In the midst of life, which has felt so off-kilter, there have been a few valuable lessons for me personally from the last 12 months. Some may seem obvious and others not so much... |
| Do the things that really matter... |
| I've shared before about times in my life when my decisions have been led by my core personal values. None more so than in recent times. Reflecting on the past year, and particularly since April, it is so apparent to me how being clear on what is truly important to you can make it easy to make decisions that otherwise seem difficult, awkward, risky and sometimes even embarrassing.
Earlier this year, I essentially stepped away from my business for many weeks and did very little client work during this time. Choosing to focus on my family and to be there for my parents, meant I had to defer client commitments, cancel social engagements, let things 'slide', compromise on plans, reset goals and 'let people down' (or so I thought).
And you know what? It's all OK.
Without exception, things have worked out, people have been caring and understanding, and new plans have been made.
My work is very important to me. I love it. And I love my clients. But being there for my Mum and Dad when they needed me, spending time with my husband and our children, my sister and nephew are my highest priorities.
No matter what your highest values, if you know what they are and you use them like a compass...they will guide you through difficult times and keep what is really important to you front-of-mind. |
| There is always opportuinity for a new perspective |
| I've had 20+ years of training and public speaking experience and though nerves sometimes get the better of me, generally I get through the pre-talk jitters and handle the nervousness.
On a gorgeous, sunny day in late June, I had the privilege of delivering my Dad's eulogy. At the time I thought writing it was hard (and it was - I can talk much more easily than I can write) but I felt an unprecedented fear of speaking as I waited to stand up in front of a chapel full of people and speak for 20 minutes about my lovely Dad. I felt physically ill and really didn't think I could keep my composure for so long - especially when I had to speak of my Mum and Dad's great romance, spanning almost six decades.
I wanted it to be perfect. To capture exactly how we (my family) all felt about him and what he brought to our lives. I wanted to do him proud and for my children to hear stories they'd never heard before about their much-adored Poppa.
In the first few minutes of the eulogy, our just-turned 10 year old son, Finlay, stood beside me and read a short chapter from Dad's book, Midget Gems. He was amazing.
On finishing, he looked up at me and smiled and I knew instantly that I could get through Dad's dedication. It was imperfect, it was occasionally slowed by my tears...and it was real and full of love.
It was the most difficult speech I've ever delivered and also the one for which I'm most grateful.
How would your life, decisions, fears and actions look through the eyes of an optimistic and trusting 10 year old? |
| Asking for help and showing vulnerability is OK |
| I've nearly always considered myself to be a fairly self-sufficient, independent person who can get on with things and get them done. I have a wonderful, loving and tight family around me, beautiful friends and a lovely community of clients and colleagues, yet sometimes I struggled on doing things alone, in an effort to show strength, when I actually felt like surrendering.
Sometimes though we need help - and for me, asking for help isn't always my strong suit. In recent months, I've learnt that it really is OK to ask for help and to accept it, when offered, with gratitude and without apology.
Ask yourself...what are struggling with or tackling alone? Who can you ask to help lessen the load or bring you some greater clarity? Remember too that helping someone is often a gift for both people. |
| | I've coached many people over several years who, during the course of our work together, reflect on their lives; their achievements, their relationships and their values. I've seen first-hand the implications of regret. Too often I speak with people who regret missed opportunities to grow, to love, to speak and to connect.
A few days after my Dad passed, I heard an old 1980's song 'The Living Years' by Mike & The Mechanics on the radio. It brought me both tears and and a sense of peace as I listened to it. I realised that I have no 'unclosed loops' in my relationship with my Dad. No lasting regrets or conversations unspoken. For that, I feel truly grateful.
Do you have anything you need to say to someone close to you, in the living years? |
| Your to-do list will still be there |
| Before, had someone suggested to me that I take a chunk of time out of my business and just leave everything until later, I would have been resistant - I would have said I had too many things to do, people to see and commitments to keep.
Well, fast-forward several weeks of inaction and my to-do list was patiently waiting for me to pick it up once I returned to work. In fact, quite a number of items had slipped off the list by virtue of their lack of importance and others had become much less urgent, compelling or scary after time and distance had given me a new perspective of them. Interesting...
How many tasks on your to do list could be re-prioritised, deferred or ditched altogether? It really doesn't need a heart-breaking set of circumstances to get clarity on what needs priority on your action list.
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| Be as kind to yourself as you are to the people around you |
| The day before my Dad passed, I had a call from someone who has known me very well for many years and who had been through the same experience of losing his Dad to cancer. He reminded me how important it is to look after yourself with the same love and care as you do for the people around you in times of grief.
His message was perfectly timed and so right.
Not matter whether it's the loss of a loved one, a relationship that has ended or a stressful time at home or work...remember to be kind, gentle, patient and forgiving to yourself. It may not feel easy but it is essential.
There you have it. Some gifts from my Dad and I hope some questions for you to take away and ponder.
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“So it’s true, when all is said and done,
grief is the price we pay for love.”
E.A. Bucchianeri
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| Feeling stuck and need some help? |
| In the spirit of growth and regeneration, I'm so pleased to be opening up some one-on-one coaching spots again and I would love to work with you if you feel it's your time - and you're ready to take the next step. If that sounds like you, please check out my VIP Breakthrough Experiences.
I can tailor a VIP Experience entirely for you and they are a great way of us working together intensively to get you on (or put you back on) the right track. I absolutely love VIP days as we can cover a lot of ground and you can make some really big shifts over the course of a day (or even half-day). |
| | I've put together a very special pricing offer for the next 7 days, so now is the time to lock in your VIP Experience (and you only need to pay a deposit of $97 to secure your spot).
Click here to find out all about it and see whether this is for you. Please drop me a line or call if you'd like to see if this is a good match for you.
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| Have a wonderful week!
Audrey x |
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