One cold day, a colony of the most motivated penguins on the South Pole held a convention. And they all discovered that they were really upset with God—as, of course, penguins are on occasion.

"Why is it that every other bird with wings can fly," the penguins wondered. "And why can't us penguins fly?"

Some of the penguins then formed a small committee to find out the answer.

Master Penguin, who sat on that committee, went on to YouTube—as a penguin does, naturally—and he found a video of a motivational speaker from Texas.

This guy was famous for his seminars where he got pigs to fly. He also put on seminars on getting small horses to fly.

He was THE expert on teaching animals how to fly.

So Master Penguin got in touch with this flying animal expert in Texas. The fellow said, "I'm expensive."

It didn't matter to the Master Penguin or the penguin committee—they all wanted to fly. They paid the fee of $20,000, plus a first-class plane ticket to the middle of the Antarctic.

The penguins were serious.

So the Committee of Penguins met the Texan in their little home near the South Pole and here he would lecture to about 250 penguins—the only ones open-minded enough to learn how to fly.

Master Penguin scheduled the seminar from 9am to 5pm. Penguins are prompt.

During the morning session, the Texan went over the physics of flying and the psychology of belief.

"Look, penguins," he said. "It’s very simple. The only reason you can’t fly is, number one, you don’t believe you can. And number two, you don’t flap your wings hard enough."

After going over the physics, the physiology, the belief system, and all that stuff, the penguins broke for lunch.

Most of the penguins had their eyes glazing over. So boring. Only about half of them came back in the afternoon.

Then at 4 o’clock, everybody took another break. The Texan and his assistants put up not quite two hundred 10-foot step ladders.

“Okay," said the expert. "Last part of the seminar. We’re going to put theory into practice. Everybody get on the first rung of your ladder. I want you to flap hard, believe more…and jump.”

So all the penguins flapped hard, believed more, and jumped. And they all fell.

“Okay, rung number two. Flap hard, believe more, and jump. Flap hard, believe more, and jump."

They repeated the exercise on rung two, three, and four.

When they got to rung five and six, now the penguins were twisting their beaks. They were breaking their ankles.

It was getting really, really ugly. But the man from Texas was relentless.

“Flap hard, believe more, jump. Flap hard, believe more, jump.”

Soon it got to be twenty minutes to five o'clock. The Texan had very little time left for his presentation and the penguins were on rung number eight. Penguins kept falling.

“Flap hard, believe more, jump.”

All of a sudden, as most of the penguins were lying on their backs, one of them said, "Hey, look over there. Look at Ralph! He’s flying."

And Ralph the Penguin came in for a nice, soft landing.

After the penguins saw that, well, every single one of them got on rung ten. And they all flapped hard, believed more, and jumped.

And sure enough, all the penguins started flying.

They were diving. They were swooping. They were finally f***ing flying! Penguins!

Five o’clock hit—on the dot—and the penguins gave the seminar leader a flying ovation.

Then, the seminar ended.

And every single one of the remaining penguins that just learned how to fly …

They waddled back home.

Waddling is in a penguin's nature. Flying is not.

Like penguins flying, eating spicy food is not in my nature. But I like a good hot sauce here and there. Over the years I've learned how to properly torture my palate.

Some dishes deserve, by their very nature, at least a couple drops of hot sauce. Most burritos, for instance.

By mere coincidence, last week we stumbled into the hot sauce market. We now offer 5oz bottles of our own Naturally Ordered Hot Sauce currently available for our subscribers.

More to come on that front in the next several days, but it's in stock and you can be one of the first to get a bottle of our new sauce.

We're happy with it and would give it a flying ovation if we could, but it's not in our nature.

As always,

Brian

P.S. – We can get you a "screaming" deal on a dozen bottles of Naturally Ordered Hot Sauce if you are really into great hot sauce and know others who appreciate as well. Please respond to this email if you're interested in a bulk order.

And check out NaturalOrderPodcast.com while you're dropping a little sauce on your tacos, burritos, or soup.