We all know what it’s like to feel like an outsider. Maybe you didn’t quite fit in with the clique in school or you might feel uncomfortable at work because you don’t act the way everyone else does.

Ever have an unpopular opinion that went against the mainstream, even though you were entirely vindicated by the evidence in the end? You're an outsider.

Were you perchance tossed out of an establishment—or even fired from your job—for having the audacity to not wear a surgical mask when the dominant culture demanded it, whether the point of wearing it was a mere virtue signal or not? That's called being an outsider, too.

It is indeed tough to be yourself when it seems like everyone around you is trying to be someone else. Still, it’s important to remember that being yourself is one of the best things you can do—for yourself and those around you.

"Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold," as Johnny (Ralph Macchio) told C. Thomas Howell's Ponyboy in The Outsiders (1983).

Keep in mind, your "self" is always evolving, but don't go out of your way to be strange or invent some new persona to help you adjust. That's just silly. And it is not serious.

Here are a few tips on how to stay "true to yourself," even in a world where it doesn’t feel that easy:

1. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Your individuality is one of your greatest strengths, so don’t waste it by trying to fit in with everyone else. Instead, embrace your differences and celebrate the things that make you unique.

● Eliminate the fear of "being yourself" with a few things: Focus on your strengths and talents and build confidence in these areas. Traditional schools often teach you to improve on the skills that you’re weakest in, but try to focus on the things that come naturally to you.

● You'll feel good about yourself and "strengthened" when you have discovered and are confident in your true self.

● Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who encourage you to be "you." By spending time with people who embrace their true selves, it will be easier for you to do the same.

● Being around people who pretend to be something they are not will ultimately make it harder for you to stay true to yourself.

● Practice self-compassion. If you make a mistake or say something that isn’t popular, don’t beat yourself up. We all make mistakes, and we all have different opinions. What matters is how you learn from your mistakes and grow. So, instead of being hard on yourself, show yourself compassion and understanding.

2. Be kind to others, but don’t let them take advantage of you. It's tough to stand up for yourself and your beliefs, especially if those around you are pressuring you to do or say things that aren't right.

● Remember that being kind doesn’t mean letting others walk all over you. You can be a caring and compassionate person while staying true to yourself and your beliefs.

● Suggestions on remaining kind without the risk that someone will take advantage of you: Set clear boundaries with the people in your life. Let them know what you will and won’t tolerate. Stick to these boundaries, even if it’s complicated.

● Don’t be afraid to say “no” when you need to. It is hard for many people, but it’s important to remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it.

● Pick your battles—wisely. There will be times when it’s not worth arguing with someone or standing up for yourself. If the situation is not worth the stress, let it go.

3. Stand up for what you believe in, even if it’s unpopular. It's easy to give in to peer pressure or go along with the crowd, but it’s important to stand up for what you believe in, even if it’s not popular. It takes courage, but it’s important to stay true to yourself and your values.

● How to stand up for yourself: Start by developing a strong sense of self-confidence. Believing in yourself and your abilities will help you speak up when you need to and stand firm against others trying to pressure you into doing something that feels wrong.

● Practice speaking up for yourself in small ways. Start with situations where it’s less risky to speak your mind, such as with friends or family members. It will help you build the confidence and skills to speak up in more complicated situations.

● Know your rights. It’s important to know when someone is violating your rights or trying to pressure you into doing something illegal. This knowledge will give you the strength to stand up for yourself in these situations.

● Learn to trust your "gut." If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Trusting your gut instinct will help you stay true to yourself and avoid deciding you’ll regret it later.

4. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Embrace your quirks and oddities—they make you special and interesting!

● Here’s how to embrace your quirks: Focus on your strengths and gifts. Think about the things that make you unique from others, whether it’s your sense of humor, creativity, or ability to connect with people. Cultivate these qualities and use them to shine!

● Get to know yourself better. Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Prayer, journaling, and practicing a daily examination can help you get to know yourself better and appreciate what makes you unique.

● Surround yourself with confident people. Being around people who are comfortable with themselves can help you feel more confident in your skin. Seek friends and mentors who will support and encourage you to be yourself.

5. Practice radical self-care. Taking care of yourself is essential to feeling good about yourself. Schedule time for things that make you happy, such as your hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or taking care of your physical health.

● By taking care of yourself, you will be better able to embrace your own nature.

● Some self-care tips and ideas: Schedule time for hobbies and activities you enjoy, such as reading, writing, painting, or exercising. Hobbies are a great way to express yourself and connect with your inner-self.

● Go to the spa, read a good book, take an evening stroll around the neighborhood, or watch a good movie. Focus on yourself, stretch, and relax. Self-care is vital for staying grounded and connected with yourself.

● Prioritize your physical health, such as getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and avoiding drugs. Take care of your body and you will take better care of your mind and spirit.

● If you want to act like yourself in a world where it isn’t easy, start by developing a strong sense of self-confidence. (See Kermit the Frog.)

● Believing in yourself and your abilities will help you speak up and stand firm against others who try to pressure you into doing something that is wrong.

Practice speaking up for yourself in small ways, know your rights, and learn to trust your gut instinct. Don’t compare yourself to others. Embrace your quirks and oddities and practice radical self-care. Surround yourself with confident, self-expressive people.

Remember that you are unique and amazing and there is no need to be fake about it.

As always,

Brian

P.S. – Some links:

The Outsiders on Amazon Prime – https://amzn.to/3DuyhEz

Kermit singing "Bein' Green"  –  https://youtu.be/kv1gQ-0J0bk